Oh Andersons, Where Art Thou?

Just shy of 23 months of bliss. :)

2011-05-20T20:42:00.002-06:00

Elliot is getting more and more verbal everyday. He's always chattering away, singing to himself, "reading" out loud (he starts every page with "One day..."), or telling us stories. He has a mind like a steel trap and will recount events that happened weeks and weeks ago. He's into any animal that he learns about, and can even tell you little facts about them... like robins have red tummies or owls live in the forest in the dark. Today he also told me that birds lay down in nests with eggs and go to sleep.
He gets more and more imaginative, and even likes to dress up a little. He puts on Erik's hats and ties and also puts a box that has a mesh side on his head, like a helmet, and walks around like that.
He tries to talk me into letting him do more art... particularly with markers, but sometimes he doesn't like to listen to me tell him that drawing is for paper only, and after the 200th time, they get taken away and he hates me a little.
Thankfully, he's not super tantrum-y so far. He has his moments when he gets pretty ticked that what he wants and what I want don't jive (For example, if I have Erik cut his grapes so he doesn't choke. The nerve!). And, I would be mad too if I lived with two people more than twice my size who almost constantly kept me from coloring the furniture or playing with knives, and didn't always understand what I wanted or tried to say. Overwhelmingly though, he is very happy, very loving, and very polite.
He's also a bit of a pack rat. I'm not sure if this is part of his personality, or if just feels a kinship to squirrels or other hoarding mammals... but he has several little caches around the house for treasures. Case in point... today I realized that a credit card of ours was missing (I had set it on the desk one afternoon and the realized today that it was missing.) After searching high and low, Erik just said to him, "Elliot, where's the card?" and he walked over to one of our bookcases and pulled it out from between two books! Sneaky!!!
He also has an unhealthy (?) interest in batteries. He takes them out of remotes, chargers, etc. and carries them around... it's kind of weird, but I'm choosing to not worry about it until he tries to eat them (hopefully that doesn't actually happen *knock on wood*).
Here's a little gem of a story from last night's bath... as related to Erik...
On our walk we saw robins. With red tummies. Six of them. Then there were pandas. Their tummies hurt. They had to poop. They drank water. (Obviously these are not the complete sentences that Elliot says, but he's close.)
Then, at a colleagues of Erik's house the other night, he was confused that they didn't have a TV (spoiled). Or a remote. When he said that he wanted a shower, I told him that we would wait until we got home... and he said incredulously, "Have no bathroom???"
Today at the store, we were perusing the toy aisles when we passed some Elmo toys. In the next aisle I found some cute wooden puzzles that looked like they were on clearance (not clearly marked) and I said, "These look nice, but I'll have to check the price." For the rest of the shopping trip he kept, intermittently asking, "Check Elmo? Check Elmo?" hopefully.
The best of all though, Elliot now realizes that there is something funny about passing gas. He likes making toot noises with his mouth (or having either of us make them) and then saying, " 'Scuzi! " and laughing hysterically.
I can't wait to see what he's like once he actually turns 2!

morning hair and breakfast

PAINT!!!

spaceman? beekeeper?

this is why mommy hates markers

Good Ole Days

2011-04-15T07:05:00.000-06:00

So, for our birthdays (Erik and I are 2 years and 4 days apart) our friends Michael and Caroline made us the most amazing gift ever...
* Background - We have been talking for a preeety long time about someday buying a parcel of land together and both of our families living on it and hobby farming the heck out of it... we call it "The Moore-Anderson Compound" or just "The Compound". I understand that that sounds kind of Big-Love-creepy, but it's not. I promise.*
... anyway, we received in the mail yesterday, a photo album full of old timey pictures of us down on the compound. I laughed so hard I almost puked. I'm going to share some of the best with you now... brace yourself.

This looks almost real. Possibly having this framed.

Just me and Caroline on our motorbike.

Michael in Minnesota.

Getting some exercise... olden days P90X.

Chilling after a swim.

Elliot and Sophie's wedding. I seriously almost died when I saw this one. Comedy Gold.

Thanks you guys, for the funniest birthday present ever! We'll cherish it forever... Now we just need to buy some land! :)

The problem with angry women...

2011-04-03T20:10:00.002-06:00

Okay, in my second to last post, I think I made it sound like I spend a lot of my day thinking about angry things and fuming. This isn't quite true... I would rephrase it as "I spend time hearing and reading things that bother me and I think a lot about my true feelings on the subject(s) and how I can change those things in my life." That sounds a little better, right?

Basically, most of my "deep thinking time" is spurred on by what I read out there in the blogosphere. And unfortunately, a good portion of that is based on blog posts by what appears to be angry people, specifically angry women.

I'm not going to sugar-coat it... Most of the time, I am guilty of thinking that whatever I do is best. Best not only for my family, but everyone. "Why don't you just see it like this???" I silently scream at my computer screen. But, through Erik's anthropological ways, I'm beginning to understand why this just doesn't work. From his stand point, you can't do things like pass judgments on people's priorities or world view. Instead I should be doing something like, oh, trying to see where they are coming from.

Lately, I think I've had a break through.

I have read plenty of attachment parenting blogs that I have nodded my head along to happily while simultaneously trying to ignore certain posts that made me feel like a monster or fool in my parenting choices. And then I read a post of a lady who said that she too had labeled herself an "attachment parent", something that was meant to be all about warm fuzzies and love, etc etc. But then she felt also, that some people got a little to severe in their judgments and rules about what was AP and what was not. I feel generally like they are kind of, how do you say, militant? I'm still all about going with my instincts and researching what my child is coming into contact with, and deferring to what makes me feel like a good parent rather than guilt-racked. But I just can't hack the mommy wars any more. And my kid isn't even two.

I'm all about breastfeeding, but I'm not going to go on and on about how if you don't you're a jerk and "how dare you nurse with a cover, you prude!" (Yes I have read that and yes it made me really sad. Sorry that in order for me to nurse comfortably, I had to show some skin and wasn't comfortable showing it off to just anyone at any time, but I nursed like a champ anyway, so nuts to you. Sorry that it allegedly held so many people around me back from seeing the natural beauty of breastfeeding.) I'm all about loving support, not so much about demoinzing other mothers. It's hard enough for every mom out there as it stands.

But those blogs weren't enough, my opinion's ego's final blow came over the past week. I was wasting time on the internet and came across another group of women who seemed mighty miffed about something. And that thing was allegedly equality or lack thereof. Oh yes, they were feminists.

I have been thinking about feminism off and on for many years, seeing as how I am a woman. I never got too into it, and then once I got married and started having kids it came up in my mind again. Generally, my stance is that women should totally have equal rights as men but I really don't feel like my husband and I are "equal" in every way. There are some things that each of us are better at, that have nothing to do with gender. I'm better with the car, he taught me how to cross stitch. We have equal say in our budget, goals, household activities and responsibilities... But I can also do awesome woman-only stuff, like have babies. And he can do awesome man-only stuff, like pee standing up. If we were totally exactly equal in everything and could do everything the same, how could we complement each other?

From what I gathered from this particular website, equality seemed like just the tip of the iceberg. Many women went on and on about hearsay and the way their parents screwed them up... And there was a lot of resentment and hate directed at other women, who I suppose were less than these feminists because they "bought in" to gender roles or some such. I guess anyone who's "educated" has to feel that way, or they're somehow warped. There couldn't possibly be stay-at-home moms who spend a lot of time thinking about the world around them, right? I thought this was extremely odd, because I thought feminists were all about women in general, and it seemed like other women garnered sooo much ill will. I seriously had to stop reading today... I literally felt nauseated from all the hatefulness.

And that's when it hit me.

If your parents screwed you up, try extra hard to be good to your kids. (There will always be people who are doing it "wrong", but you don't know their lives... and at the very least, by doing it "right" you could be giving your kid a leg-up in society.) If you want someone to see your point of view, gently support them. If you want to make a change, do it peacefully.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, after all. And in the words of my father, to my PETA-loving, teenage self, "No one likes a tree hugging, femi-nazi."

2011-04-03T17:24:00.001-06:00

The bow tie is askew, but I made it. *ta da!*

Harry Potter?

Counting his fish. There is one less as of today :( Never buy fish at a Mississippi Wally World.

Finger Paint

I'm accepting any good fingerpaint/play dough recipes, because this finger paint was a little too thick and weirded Elliot out.

Getaway

2011-04-03T09:58:00.000-06:00

Once again, it has been a while since I've posted. Shocker of the century!

I think this time I can actually narrow it down to two things... first is was cold and I didn't want to do anything and then it warmed up and I got pretty productive and I just didn't feel like blogging at the end of the day. Then recently it got cold again, and that was kind of a bummer, but I'm hoping with the warmer weather, that my productivity will be back up but I'll also take time to try and blog.

Oh! I just thought of a third... I think that I also generally spend most of my thinking time, thinking about things that make me mad... and I don't want to dump that all on you, dear internet. There are far too many ignorant, whiny people clogging you up as it is.

Anyway, like I said, it was cold, and then it warmed up. On our spring break, we went down to New Orleans and Gulfport for two days. It was a nice short little trip, but we definitely want to go back for longer next time. Elliot loved it and was a champ. I just felt bad for having him in the stroller all the time in New Orleans... it's just too crowded/dirty to let a small toddler walk. He'd get knocked over or beer poured on his head or a voodoo curse put on him or something. We made up for it though on the beach. I have never seen him take to something new so fast. Elliot is a pretty adaptable kid, and he gets pretty enthusiastic about almost any situation (except for the time he growled at one of Erik's students)... but he L-O-V-E-D the beach. I honestly felt bad that we had to go. Even yesterday, at a store, he was looking at a display of beach stuff (umbrellas, lounge chairs, beach balls) and he kept chattering about the "fun beach!".

This whole trip though, really cemented in my mind how fun it is to travel, even just within the US. Going to another country is fun I'm sure, but I think Erik and I are pretty committed to taking our kids on vacations in the states as they grow up.

Next summer, we're planning on going to Walt Disney World (I went when I was 6, Erik has never been.) and let me tell you... it is an obsession for me. Seriously. If we could already book for next summer - the cut off right now is the end of 2011- we would be. I practically have each dining stop picked out. It's sad, but I can literally feel the joy and excitement welling up in my withered old heart, just thinking about how much fun Elliot and Erik are going to have. AHHHH! I'm not going to lie, it's like going to cost more than 15 x what we spent in New Orleans, but that's what our tax return is for and after the disaster that is Mississippi... We deserve it.

artist's rendering of how awesome disney world will be

Now if we can only get that high speed rail thing going, we'll be zipping around the country in no time, hahaha!

Spring has sprung!

2011-02-27T19:57:00.001-07:00

Even though the Delta isn't my dream destination, I have to say... I'm all about the warmer weather.
Suddenly, Elliot and I have purpose to our days! Chores every morning, walks around town, exercise, fresh air. It's a beautiful thing.

Also, I finally had a stroke of genius and finished Elliot's room. (actually I just shifted his crib and rug over and brought in his wagon...) Suddenly, he loves playing in there.

Unfortunately, something else Elliot loves (drawing) is manifesting itself on surfaces around the house.

And last but not least... Elliot is now the proud owner of 2 little goldfish. There were 3, but with fish from Wal*Mart you can only expect so many to make it. The tank is a little sparse right now, but that's partially because we're growing actual aquatic plants and not plastic ones, so they take a little time. We'll be sprucing their little home up with maybe a treasure chest or something, and probably a couple more companions, this week.

Valentines Day : Revisited

2011-02-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

Have I ever told you about our first Valentine's Day as a married couple?

It was February 2007, Erik and I had been married a mere month and a half. I was still a faithful vegetarian, but thought that I would treat my husband to a nice steak for dinner.
On February 11th, I cracked open a bottle of marinade, slapped some steak in a ziploc bag (and a portabella cap in another for myself) and tossed them in the fridge. Yes, you read that right.
Sometime also in the week leading up to the big day, Erik surprised me with a complete set of Shakespeare's plays and sonnets... He may or may not have said that they were a Valentine's gift and I may or may not have had that statement stricken from my short term memory.
Then, on the 14th, it was a Wednesday... I came home from work and busied myself around the house. I tidied up, got the stove heating up, put some candles around the bath tub (eyebrow wiggle... sorry mom and dad).
At some point, I looked at the marinade bottle - maybe for some cooking tips - and noticed that it said something about a meal in 30 minutes. "That's funny," I thought, and I looked closer at the label... Yes indeed, it said that you only had to put the food in the marinade for a half an hour. "Huh."
I believe that at this point, as the food was grilling away on our range, Erik came home. My memory is fuzzy, but I think I gave him some sort of gift, and he said, "Oh yeah! I got you something too!" He then reached into his backpack, pulled out a small box of chocolates and may have handed them to me. This might have hurt my feelings a little, teensy skosh... because I might have long forgotten that the Shakespeare set may have actually been my gift, just early.
I'm using vague terms, because for a long time, I would have sworn to remembering him tossing the box in my general direction and my heart shattering into a million microscopic pieces... but like I said, the memories are hazy due to time and/or reality and/or the trauma that followed...
It was time for dinner, after our gift exchange, and I served up Erik's steak as he sat on our futon (before we had a table) and I hovered nearby to see if he liked it.
Erik gets 100 zillion good husband points for eating the steak without barfing immediately.
I then served up my mushroom cap, took a bite and realized what a difference 3 days makes to a marinade. I would describe it as, my tastebuds being burned in a forest fire.
After that doozy went in the trash, I went to salvage the rest of the evening by drawing a romantic bath. I turned on the faucet, lit all the candles, checked the water and discovered that, apparently, our water heater was broken.
I'm not sure what all followed, but I remember maybe getting a little upset... Possibly resenting my candy box from Erik, perhaps laying across our bed sobbing in anger, maybe looking back a few years later and feeling like an idiot/laughing at myself.

For the next 3 Valentine's Days I was working in floral capacities, and barely had the time to look at Erik, much less celebrate (unless it was to celebrate not seeing that many roses in one place for another year).

This year, I decided to make steak again.

While we didn't have the money to even get each other a box of chocolate this year (thank you so much IRS for cycling our return through for an additional 2 weeks, for no apparent reason that anyone can give me! :D !!!) and I may have picked the wrong cut of beef for an optimum steak experience (I'm assuming that, because I just picked the thing that looked the most like steak but cost least - no cooking suggestion on the package {I hate you WalMart and I miss you Maceys} I'm pretty sure that paying only $3.50 for a package of "steak" means it's not like, NY Strip, yeah?).
It turned out pretty great!!! No marinade this time, baby, just some butter in the pan and a sprinkle of seasoning... BOOM, we each had seconds!
Elliot was not impressed, but he's not a beef fan.

Anyway, Valentine's Day was good this year. MUCH improved since our first one... I'm hoping that we're just getting better with age. I was happy to be with my two special guys, relaxing and reflecting on how much we love each other. Hopefully next year, I can improve on my Valentine's skills even more!

Here are some pictures of my smallest sweetie...

Toddler Joy

2011-02-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

Elliot is growing up in so many ways, right before me. While it makes me a little reminicent, I mostly appreciate and celebrate every new thing he learns.
Lately, it's pretending.
He's been engaging in "pretend play" for a while now, starting with pretending to talk on the phone with this one "phone" shaped block, and that was months ago... but every day he builds on it more and more.
The best ones right now are...
- Looking through his Sesame Street coloring book and saying "Oh no, Gizzuh (Grover), Oh noooo!" I'm not entirely sure where that is coming from, lol.
- Playing in his wagon and saying "Two, TWO, TEEEEEE (one, two three)". Also, I'm not sure quite what he's counting down about, but it sounds really fun and exciting.
- Pretending to sleep. "Nigh' nigh' (night night), seepy (sleepy), *snoring noises*"
- Hugging and kissing all of his stuffed animals, especially because Elliot's specialty are bear hugs in which he strangles the object of his affection and gives a big "rrrrr!". Also, yesterday he hugged the stove and high fived "High Five! Bam!" his cheese at snack time before eating it.

You can be jealous of my awesome kid now.

2011-01-13T08:03:00.000-07:00

I read a blog post the other day about how a toddler is just a "baby on wheels"... they have a lot of physical abilities but they're still working hon expressing themselves and knowing about what is dangerous and what's not.

It definitely struck a cord with me, especially because the mom posting talked about how you have to have distractions ready to go. Like an arsenal of other options to throw at your child when they want to watch TV all day or climb up on to the hutch and eat thread... you know, stuff like that.

I've also realized that, in addition to this tactic, the best thing (for me at least) is saying yes. Not to Elliot's every whim, but guiding him throughout the day to good activities and then taking every chance to say "Yes! We can do that!" to the ones he picks. 3 billion books? Yes! Snuggling stuffed animals? Yes! Coloring for several hours, collectively? Yes!

The reason I found this out, was first, Elliot's love of the word no when he was younger and now when he's sad and ornery. But also, the impact that me saying the big N-O has on him... Simple things like watching Sesame Street clips on youtube can go two ways...

Elliot - "Elmo?"
Me - "No."
Elliot - screams and pouts

or

Elliot - "Elmo?"
Me - "Let's read a book about Elmo!"
Elliot - well, he still wants to watch the videos, but will accept the substitute if I read it at least twice and then several more books

What are some little tricks you have for parenting toddlers?

Right in front of my face...

2011-01-06T18:00:00.001-07:00

Lately Elliot has been a little whiny, a little clingy... I've just chalked it up to molars (3!) and a stuffy nose.

But then again, he's always been pretty "cuddly" and he hasn't quite moved on to that stage of wanting to play by himself most of the time... I'm still his go-to-gal for anything fun.

Which is generally sweet, except for when I'm trying to check email or go to the bathroom... stuff like that. And I admit, that every once and a while I think, "oh my gosh, just give me a second alone!"

But last night I was thinking in bed... ruminating on how much I wish I had like, one friend down here, or some other whiny self-involved thing, blah blah blah... and then it hit me.

Elliot needs me so much because I need him.

How much more bleak would my life be without the 137th "Mommy! Hug?" of the day. How much more depressed could I get, without a little snuggle buddy on the couch who can't get comfortable without his hand absent-mindedly rubbing my arm.

My funny boy.

le sigh

2011-01-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

So today, Elliot and I were at his WIC appointment.
We were going over medical history with the (nurse? doctor?) nurse and I told her that when his shot record got there, not to be alarmed, but that we were doing a delayed vaccine schedule and it was approved by his pediatrician.

Nurse : Why?

Me : Philosophical reasons. Plus, he's not in school or daycare yet. He'll get them before he goes to school, but we're pacing ourselves.

Nurse : (writes an E) How do you spell that? E? There's a PH and a G in there somewhere...

Me : Um, philosophical. PHI...

Nurse : (writes "phi-soff-ical")

... 2 minutes later, looking through papers

Nurse : (under her breath) Esophageal...

Somewhere in the Mississippi State Health Department's paperwork, my son is going to be listed as having delayed vaccinations for "Esophageal Reasons".

Beat that.

the clanking of crystal, explosions off in the distance

2010-12-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

So, for our first "New Year's" resolution, Erik and I are doing a bit of de-cluttering. Mostly clothes and shoes, but also anything else that we are hanging on to for no particular reason. We got a lot done when we moved, but we still feel like we have a lot left that's just doing nothing for us and could maybe be used by someone else.

One reason this sounds so appealing to me, is my friend Heidi's new and very inspiring website. Heidi is a friend from Truman, who I was an SA with... she's since moved back to Germany and lives and works there with her husband. She's super stylish and is putting her aesthetic eye to good use.

The website is called www.closetpeek.com and the basic idea is that she's pared down her closet and is attempting to make a full year without buying tons of new clothes or accessories and without mindlessly repeating the same old uniform outfit everyday. Also, you can vote on your favorite items and she'll incorporate them as many different ways as she can. This is something I could never do, but I'm just so interested in actually trying to look timeless and yet trendy without buying junk Who isn't?

Anyway, the BEST part of the website is the cause! Heidi's host sister from back in the day has been working with an orphanage in Haiti since before the earthquake and now more than ever, they need help. Visitors to the website can make donations, but also, Heidi is putting her closet contents and outfits up there for public viewing, because anything she buys, she has to match, money-wise, with a donation to the Haiti Mission Project.

I highly encourage you to visit the website and pass the information along to your friends... I just think it's such a good concept! Doing more with less and trying to help others in the process. Lovely, isn't it?

Have a wonderful new year, pray for us that we don't get lost under piles of our junk and that our stuff can make other people very happy or warm. Also, if anyone is themselves thinking of de-cluttering, of say, a car or fat stacks of money or a fold out couch... we're game ! :)

Also, in another seasonally-applicable parallel between the Delta and Brazil... Fireworks are a big thing for New Year's Eve. Allegedly, in Brazil, you could potentially get shot while all the fireworks are going off and the sound of a gun shot could be lost in the commotion ...and some missionaries may or may not have slept on the floor that night just for self-preservation's sake. Just throwing that out there. I'll be sure to call you Sunday morning, Mom!

'nowman!

2010-12-30T14:48:00.000-07:00

Well, unfortunately, the year we move to the South is the year Elliot embarked on a love affair with snow.

We were lucky enough to get a white Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and several days after that... And a certain little boy got his first sled and finally learned to stop calling snowmen figurines or pictures "sheep".

Here are some cute pictures of Elliot taking after his Daddy and loving the cold!

Thanks Santa, for the sled!!!

In a winter wonderland with Daddy.

Dodging frozen doggy bombs.

Getting some help sitting up straight before a hill.

Grabbing snow to chomp on.

VERY sad to be back inside.

The last few months.

2010-12-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

I know that everyone who has a blog who skips a month or 4 always berates themselves publicly "I'm such a bad blogger. I'll get better... yada yada yada". I don't feel like I need to apologize to anyone, other than maybe my posterity (haha) for not keeping a good record of what's been going on in our lives.

If I'm completely honest with myself, I know that the reason I have been laying low since we moved is because I've been a little melancholy... and a little afraid that all I would do is whine and seem like a pill. I've been trying not to be whiny, and it's not very hard because pretty much everyone down here has it much worse than we do. Maybe that's my problem... maybe my surroundings are just so bleak and depressing that I can't think of anything good to say. So I just don't say anything much at all.

In reality, I feel really lucky to have such a sweet little toddler and such a loving and understanding husband. It maybe be a little lonely and quiet here, and I wish I was closer to family, but it's not like I'm crying myself to sleep at night or just staring out into space while life blows by. I've really plunged myself back into cooking and newly into crafts... plus Elliot is in such a fun age, where he's exploring how to pretend and how to be creative in his own right, so playing with him is really really fun.

So, stay tuned, if you feel so inclined... because I think this new year I'll have more to share, and a better attitude to go with it!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

Before and After : Spare Room

2010-12-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

The spare room is an interesting little thing. Since almost no one here comes through the front door, but rather the car port, it's actually usually the first part of our house that someone might see. Which is weird, since it's our guest/sewing/storage room.

View into kitchen, before.

In the midst of moving.

There are more pictures and things on the walls now, but you get the idea.


Erik's old lederhosen on the guest bed... why we need a pull-out couch (it's a twin).

Before and After - Kitchen

2010-12-05T16:06:00.000-07:00

Considering how much I like to cook, and eat, the kitchen is a very important room in the house. Ours is nice and large, but at first had some... issues. Namely the flooring and the 8000 year old stove. But now, it's nice and cozy!

Jealous?

In the midst of moving.

After new flooring.

Our Christmas Table!

I don't have tons of pictures of the kitchen after, because I'm usually hard at work in there! :)

Before and After : Living Room

2010-12-05T14:27:00.001-07:00

The living room probably took the longest because no one in Mississippi uses craigslist. So, to get a new desk and TV stand, we had to do some fancy coordinating with craigslisters in St Louis and both my parents and Erik's for pick up and delivery. I'm really glad everything is almost together (once we get a couple of Elliot's Christmas presents organized in a month or so)... Our living room is so big. It's nice that Elliot can run around and ride his rocket into things.

This is the only "real" before... thankfully.

In the midst of moving in... you can see the sitting room FULL of boxes.

Our mantle looking pretty pathetic.

Those toy bins near the window are alos being sent to Elliot's room soon. :)

That old DVD rack thing isn't there anymore, but you'll just have to imagine it, I'm not taking another picture! :)

This picture also shows why there are no longer DVD boxes on the bottom shelf, and why Elliot's toys are there.


I now realize that I should have taken this a little higher... BTW, I made those stockings.

So that's the living room!

Okay, I found this one, pre-stockings. Cute, huh?

Before and After - Sitting Room

2010-12-05T14:08:00.000-07:00

Well, this room is pretty much, the least impressive, because we're really not "done". This sitting room is mostly Erik's work stuff storage room, which means that it is not organized and/or in ugly boxes.

However, it is still an improvement!

Before. Check out those sexy curtains.


I actually want to get some new curtains,but we have a ton of windows.

There's actually a family tree above that plaque on the left hand side now.


Once we get a couple more things squared away in Elliot's room, those toys will most likely be in there... and we can maybe put a pull out couch under the windows.

BAM! There's one before and after post down. *bows*

'Tis the Season... for a sweet deal.

2010-11-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

Okay. I know I am extremely back logged. I need to post pictures of the house, I need to tell you what our Halloween was like... (we stayed home. lame.) I need to tell you how awesome Thanksgiving was! BUT first I need to share something awesome with you all.

Have you ever heard of shutterfly.com? If you haven't, I'll enlighten you. It's a website that not only allows you to store and share your photos (great for photographers, from what I hear) but also has a variety of ways for you to turn your photos into keepsakes or gifts.

And one of the awesome things they are doing this Holiday Season is, giving me the opportunity to blog about some of their products in exchange for some free Christmas Cards! (If you also have a blog and would like to get in on this sweet action, go here.)

Anyway, I really enjoy shutterfly.com, I've seen some really gorgeous and professional quality blog books and other albums that have been done though them! I'm very impressed. In fact, I want to convince my sister to save herself a pretty penny and do her wedding album with shutterfly.com.

We had Melissa take some family pictures of us over the Thanksgiving break, so you all should prepare yourself for the awesome-ness that is our 2nd Annual Christmas Card. Here are a couple designs that are in the running....

Merry Dots @ shutterfly.com

Merry Merry Greetings @shutterfly.com

If you want to send a for real, end of the year, family letter-type card... they even have those!

Vintage Provence @ shutterfly.com

And, if you're not into Christmas Cards this year, but you're still looking for something to send the ones you love, check out this calendar!

LOVE the personalized birthdays!

Plus, shutterfly.com has beautiful designs for cards at any time of year, for example... birthday invitations.

Birthday Blossoms @ shutterfly.com

I hope you all had a great holiday, and that you can remain on the edge of your seats for me to finally post some pictures of the house and my extremely cute son. I know it's hard.

*** Also, If you guys want a Christmas Card from us, and you think I maybe don't have your address, or maybe I lost it, email me or facebook me and I will send yours along! ***

2010-09-24T17:21:00.003-06:00

Just a few more tidbits, to tide you over until we get to big before and after post... which will be sometime after we find a desk and a tv stand...

Another way that Mississippi is like a time warp... I have yet to see a child under five in a car seat or booster seat. I think I saw one in my neighbor's garage today, for her grandchildren, but that's it.

I saw another bug, which made me curse and cry. But haven't seen anymore since then... so maybe it was just stirred up in our spare bathroom's renovation. *shakes fist*

I think I'm getting a little melancholy, so I'm busting out all my cook books and mad mad cooking skills. Food makes me happy... not so much eating it (well I mean, I eat it, but I'm only an emotional eater if it's something someone else made... like the Paula Deen Buffet), but cooking it and looking at it. Maybe I'll take pictures and post recipes... maybe not. All I know is I made some totally bomb homemade gyros the other day. mmmmmmmmm.

Also, now Elliot knows how to show us his belly and how to pretend he's a puppy. It is adorable.

Where do I even begin...

2010-09-19T15:39:00.002-06:00

I'm just going to preface this by saying... There is only one "after" picture in here and it's not really that great. Each picture I've uploaded looks different than how the house looks right this second because every day I get one more thing squared away, one more section tidy, and until I get the last few finishing touches done, I'm not quite ready to show you what's going down. But it's coming. I promise.

On to the post.

When I first walked into the house, and in the subsequent week, I felt like this...

I have always wanted to live in Mississippi, even for a short period. Erik and I almost took our honeymoon here. So when he got his assignment, I was so excited. I would have loved to be closer to family, but we're young, Elliot's not in school yet... why not be adventurous, right?

I have to say, that this is one of the very few instances in my life when I had no idea what I was talking about.

Mississippi is a whole different ballgame. I feel, several times a day, like I am in some sort of time warp, for a variety of reasons. It takes me 15 minutes to get to the nearest grocery store. Everyone in town seemed to know about us, and know our names, before we had the chance to introduce ourselves. I walk to the post office. Race is still a big part of a lot of people's lives. Family seems to be very important here. Every thing takes 10 times longer than it has ever before in my life.

Also, it is very very warm. And there really are bayous and swamps everywhere. And yes, the bugs are bad. Horrible. Giving me serious anxiety. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

The house we live in is at least 50 years old, and by at least I mean about 100. Our landlords are still doing renovations, which is a blessing and a curse. I can't put Elliot down for a good nap without the world's loudest doorbell ringing to signal someone is here to paint or something. But I now have a stove made in this century AND clean flooring in the kitchen. When we first got here, they were still painting the living room and we still had the old stove and a variety of things were not anywhere near done. For the better part of 24-48 hours, my heart was in my throat and I couldn't stop sighing. Because, we pay more for this place than our place in Utah. Because, there are literally no better/available options. (For example... Erik's friends have low rent, but their house is possibly haunted/even older/super gross/their landlord is a jerk.) I kept going back and forth in my head... this will be okay, we have no other options, we have to find another place, there is no other place, this house has charm and character, this house probably has lead paint, well they're painting over it.

Then, about 3 days in, I was going to go pick up one of Erik's shirts in the room that will eventually be Elliot's... And a roach meandered across the floor. The rest of the night is blur. I may have blacked out. My blood pressure went through the roof and I lay down on my bed and cried. I have never seen a roach in real life before and in case you forgot, I have some teensy weensy mental health issues. I am always concerned with what Elliot could possibly consume, but as a mother of a boy, I'm learning to deal... But this was too much. Plus, I am just a little bit particular about clutter and cleanliness, etc. I mean I have times when I'm not exactly on my A-game (like in my car) but as a rule, bugs=I am failing at life. Mom and I spent the whole next day looking for a place to move. It was, in a word, soul-crushing.

Not only did these people want even more money, they were beyond crappy. AND THEN, in the house that I thought maybe could be better, maybe would be our answer... who cares if the paint is peeling off the exterior or there's a creepy freaking shack in the back yard... there was a mouse in the tub.

We talked to various, non-partisan locals, and apparently all of this bug/rodent/gator stuff is part and parcel of the SOUTH, Y'ALL! The recommended solution is : have a guy spray every couple months, keep the house clean, "stomp 'em". We talked to our landlords and they got us on a schedule with the bug guy. Even though the house is spotless pretty much everyday (this is why I never blog anymore) it's just something we have to do. We haven't seen so much as an ant since that fateful day... but I'm still on high-alert. So please don't be alarmed if I have an upcoming post about my new blood-pressure medication or heart transplant or early date with the rest home. YAY!

I hope you all appreciate the trauma associated with even sharing this. For real. Ugh.

I need to go lay down now, but here's a reward for all that text!!!

Elliot knows how hard Mommy works, and is a trooper for helping out...

(Please notice the old, ugly floor... complete with rust stains from ancient floor nails or something.)

This is our new flooring. Breathe a sigh of relief with me.

And just a little teaser for when I do get everything just so (it's coming soon, like, within the next couple of weeks)... This is what the living room used to look like.

Got it? Yeah.

2010-09-09T20:36:00.002-06:00

HEY Y'ALL!!!!

Please excuse the fact that my blog is mismatched and looking like crap right now...

It's a side effect of all the humidity, bugs, gators, gas station fried chicken, Paula Dean Buffet, miles of vast nothing-ness, and cotton fields.

I'm working on it.

2010-06-20T17:31:00.002-06:00

Just wanted to say thank you to all the Fathers in my life, here and on the other side...

And I'm especially missing my husband, who is a wonderful father already, without years and years of experience... Whether he's taking one for the team and staying home with Elliot or down South, working his butt off so we can have a comfy little life for the next few years, he's so wonderful and devoted to both his babies and to me. He probably goes to Aurelia's grave more than I do, and I know he's probably more patient with Elliot than I am... I'm so glad that Elliot will grow up to be an outstanding man and father someday because he has the best example. I love you, Erik. I'm the lucky one.

And I'm also loving my Dad. I've been loving spending time with him since we've been home, and seeing him interact with his little grandson. My Dad is the best, greatest, most generous guy... and he has sacrificed again and again for our family. I remember when I was a teenager and rebellious, there were times that I probably didn't see eye to eye with my parents... but I was thinking about it a few weeks ago, and I really can't find anything wrong with my Dad. Maybe it's time, maybe it's perspective... but my Daddy can do no wrong in my eyes and I appreciate him so much for being such a great Dad that even if he did do things to upset me, I can't recall them because all the good he's done shines through.

I love you guys.

It's Finally Here!!!

2010-06-03T20:05:00.004-06:00

Erik ordered me a new necklace for Mother's Day and I finally got it today!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

I love the way it looks, I love the way it jingles, I love that I've got my two babies there with me all the time... no matter where I go.

I can't believe that shortly after Elliot's birthday, it will be two years since Aurelia was born... some days it feels like it was just yesterday and some days it feels like it never even happened, like it was just a bad dream... Somedays I just have all these little memories that break my heart.

Like yesterday I remembered the last time Erik talked to her through my belly. We were worried and contemplating going to the hospital... just moments before we went and within an hour before we knew she was gone...

I love my babies. I love my husband. And I love Jesus for atoning for our sins so that we can all be together again someday....

Assorted Awesome-ness

2010-06-03T19:46:00.004-06:00

Just wanted to tack on a few more pictures that don't really "go" with any other post....

Erik walked at graduation!

Happy little family...

The trademark "squnchy face"!

It snowed as we left Utah... On April 29th...

Observing a summer storm...

Getting down to business with blocks!

Breaking in the wading pool on Memorial Day!

Our very fancy chicken coop... Built by Erik, Decorated by me!

And, last but not least... the day Elliot got into Petroleum Jelly...

Also, if you notice the link to your left, I now have a floral blog, with pictures from my first wedding as an independent florist!

Happy Birthday Elliot!

2010-06-03T19:30:00.003-06:00

Well, Elliot is not actually a year old yet (he still has like, 3 weeks) but Erik leaves from training in Mississippi next Tuesday so we wanted to have the party early.

Let's relive the magic, shall we?

We went with a "Forest Friends" theme and Erik helped me to make the dining room look pretty cute!

My make-shift birthday banner...

Why yes, that IS 60 cupcakes and 100 cake pops!

Cute candy I found to go with our theme...

Cake! (Eggless Carrot Cake with freshly whipped cream... yes I am a hippie.)

The day was great! Elliot was a champ and was so happy to be the center of attention!

Thank you everyone who came or sent their love!!!

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average...

2010-06-03T19:12:00.005-06:00

A few weeks ago, we went to the great state of MINNESOTA!

We were there to visit our awesome friends, the Moores and their adorable children... it was a success.

Honestly, it was such a good time... friends our age with kids are little hard to come by in these parts... it was sad to leave. BUT someday, somehow, we'll buy a bunch of land together and hobby farm and make things like homemade bread and goat milk soap. *sigh*

Here are some pictures! :)

... love at first sight...

... playing with the big boys ...

... blackmail for later ...

... more tender moments with Sophie ...

... a hug good bye from Calvin ...

We miss you guys!!!!!!

Hoppy Kiester!

2010-04-08T07:24:00.003-06:00

*** Breaking News***

We celebrated Easter last Sunday.

Here is the proof.

Spoiled? Yes. But we had to compensate for the lack of candy somehow.

Our beautiful, model-esque family.

Please excuse whatever was going on with my hair.

No family portrait is complete without Kiki.

Easter Egg Hunting, sans pants.

What a pro!

It was a good day! Family, Food, Conference... I loved it. However, I now need HD radio so I can listen to conference like I used to in Utah because I missed Saturday's sessions. :(

And now... in extremely important news...

Our friends, Michael and Caroline had their little girl, Sophie, and she is a DOLL. We get to go see them in a month, so you had better bet I am pumped.

We visit Utah in less than two weeks (April 20-29) and we are also excited for that.

Erik and I have birthdays next week.

Elliot is still adorable and chubby.

I got a pedicure last night (something that has happened only 2 other times in my life).

Oh yeah, and....

My brother in law, Stephen, is engaged!!!!!!! I am super happy for him and happy to have a new sister in law! (and we share the same birthday, so she's having a birthday next week too).

The End!

2010-03-19T17:53:00.002-06:00

Hello Internet Friends and Family!

Here are some cute pictures of our child!

Lookin snazzy after a bath...

Being a big boy...

Playing dress-up...

Being a male model...

And a really poor representation of his tippy-toes skills...

We are still alive and well. Just livin the dream until June when Erik goes to Mississippi and I begin my career as a stay at home mom, FINALLY.

Elliot is fully crawling, cruising, jabbering, waving hello and goodbye, and doing "soooo big" with the arm movements. He apparently has a lot to say, but we can't understand it unfortunately. He is also FINALLY getting his very first tooth. Just like his mommy, he is a late bloomer. Right now you can feel it, sharp like a needle in his gums and see a tiny corner poking out. Therefore, he's still not huge into solids because he just loves to nurse and also I don't see the hurry since physiologically, he's still not "ready" but then again tonight he ate like, an entire 1/2 cup of applesauce in one go, so... who knows. He turns 9 months old on this next Thursday, so we'll go to the doctor and see how big he is and all that fun stuff. Yay!

2010-02-09T17:29:00.003-07:00

Good grief.

I feel like I never blog any more.

Do I have less to say? Do I have more time to think or talk to my husband or family so that I don't have to use the internet as a sounding board? Is my life incredibly boring? Am I less important than I thought I once was? Am I happier? Do I feel like there is less to gripe about? Am I physically around most of the people that I was previously updating via blog?

All of these are somewhat to totally true.

But life is still good and sometimes it's sad, but mostly good. Elliot is still growing and being the funniest/cutest/smartest baby in the world... or that I have happened to give birth to. Whichever. Same thing.

I just can't wait for the weather to break... It kind of did last week, but it was actually a fake out and now it's freezing and snowy again.

There are so many things we need to do! So many places Elliot needs to see! The zoo! The park! Baby Aurelia's grave! Well, we've taken him to all of those, but they were lackluster and icy. Except for Aurelia's... I feel really fortunate to be able to be here with her and make her pretty flower arrangements for every season or holiday. I hope she knows that we care and we're making her place on this Earth look nice without being kitschy or anything.

And now... a few pictures from Elliot's first visit to Forest Park (via the Art Museum [which he LOVED] and the Zoo)!

Ta-Da! A whole post, just for ... you!

2010-01-24T20:32:00.002-07:00

I feel like I'm even busier now than I was in Utah... which makes no sense because I'm only working part time and Erik and I have plenty of willing help (in the form of aunts and grandparents) with Elliot.

Maybe it's because he's teething.

Maybe it's because I'm lazy.

Either way, I haven't blogged in like, a month. Bad Liz.

Things are great. Like I said, Elliot has kicked teething to a whole new level... he's getting used to the pain during the day, but he is a wee bit clingy, especially at night. But I don't mind.

I'm working part time at the bank and Erik is working on finding something part time as well.

I have to say that I really enjoy spending time together! The worst part about being married before graduating college is how much time homework takes up at night.

Elliot is growing more and more every day! He now rolls to his destination of choice, still wriggles backwards and is thisclose to figuring out crawling for real... Right now he does this weird downward dog type thing... it's hard to explain. Wednesday he has a check-up/meet his new ped so we'll see how much he's grown!

I love being here with our families and being able to go visit our little Aurelia whenever we want.

Life is great! :)

Elliot's First Christmas!

2009-12-30T09:42:00.004-07:00

Here are some cute pictures for you to feast your eyes on!

Getting into his jammies at Great-Grandma Stokes' house...

Waaaaay past his bed time.

Cuddling with Daddy on Christmas morning!

My two boys are not morning people. Who knew? *sarcasm*

Cutest baby in the whole wide world! And six months old on Christmas Day!

Thankful for all his presents!

Mommy's favorite present.

Zonked out on Grandma Douglas.

2009-12-23T08:09:00.002-07:00

Well, here we are! Back in Troy and only a day or so til Christmas.

Our truck is supposed to arrive sometime between 12-5 today and I'm pretty glad because we accidentally packed quite a few things that we need. Of course!

Elliot was pretty much a doll on the flight and Erik made it home safely, so I'm feeling glad.

I think that it's still going to take Elliot a few days to decompress though, with all the new people and sights and sounds... he's used to just boring old me and Erik. Then with Christmas festivities and everything thrown in... Oh well, I'm treating it like a reset button to his bedtime.

I am now accepting suggestions to what our new blog title should be!

So many thoughts!!!

2009-12-07T21:13:00.002-07:00

Obviously, I haven't posted in a while, and when I don't do that, my thoughts get a little backlogged...

I am down to one week left at Macey's. I will really miss it! BUT I am ready to move on to the next chapter in our lives. I am beyond ready for Christmas (especially with the like, 5 feet, of snow we have right now).

One of the first things on my back home to-do list... Give my grandma a big fat hug. We had a chat the other day, and I just really want to hug her, but currently the distance makes it hard to do. I may not know what it's like to lose a spouse yet, but I know how losing someone just tears up your whole life, and effects every conversation you have, every thing you read, every thing you hear... And how some days it feels like you could just give up and die but instead you just cry all day. I love you Grandma, you are so strong.

That also reminds me of one of my favorite hymns... In a line it says, "Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see." I try and remember that when I'm having a hard day and don't get other people. I hope that other people think of it too, on days when I'm extra-sensitive or anything like that.

I'm trying hard to work on the not judging thing... it's hard when you throw babies in the mix though. Like, this weekend they were doing pictures with Santa at the store. I saw a large group of parents, several of which had newborns... and they all smelled heavily of smoke. I about had an aneurysm trying not to shake them and tell them how dangerous that combination is... but oh well. It's hard. I don't want to be overwhelming, or force my baby-having/raising opinions on people, but somethings are just common sense, right? Right?

On that subject, just a little something to mull over... If you have the time, look into some of the countries in this world who have the best infant mortality rates (Sweden for example). Take a look at the things that are more common in that country (breastfeeding, cosleeping, midwifery, etc.) and then look at the US (in love with formula, cribs, and medicalized birth)... Do you know where we rank, on a world-wide scale ( 2009 CIA statistics)?

45th.

That's been haunting my mind lately... it's kind of unsettling. Something is obviously wrong and I wonder if it will get better any time soon.

Also, I thought this was a very scary/interesting article... (disclaimer - The linked blog has all kinds of articles of the attachment parenting persuasion... read at your own enjoyment/risk. I agree with most, but not all, so please please don't get all up in arms and think I'm hating on your parenting choices... in fact some of mine are hated on... So we're all even.) Crying It Out

And there you have it... a mess of my thoughts. Ta-Da!

Thankful

2009-11-26T19:12:00.002-07:00

I just wanted to make a little post about the things I'm thankful for... this year's theme is family.

I am so thankful for my kind, funny husband. I'm thankful for the strength he helps me to find and that he lends me.

I'm so thankful for my parents and sister... I feel like the older I get, the closer I get to them, and I'm loving that. I'm thankful that they are letting us come stay with them until we move to Miss.

I'm thankful for my in-laws. I've heard of some seriously crazy ones and I'm glad they're only crazy in the good way! ;) And I'm very thankful that they raised Erik right!

I'm thankful for all of my extended family... I'm amazed at how close we can be. We're not just distant cousins and aunts and uncles. I'm so excited to come home and see them on holidays!!!

I'm thankful for all the trials we've been through and I'm extra thankful for the payoff.

I'm thankful for our sweet little boy and how he is doing his part to show my heart how to heal, without even realizing what he's doing. I'm thankful for his strength and health. I'm thankful for his chubby cheeks and I'm thankful for his soft little hands when he pats my face first thing in the morning and when the reach to me. Once again, I'm reminded how my love for him magnifies my love for Aurelia and vise versa, forever and ever.

I'm thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge that I have, that families can be together for eternity!

I love my family, here on earth and in heaven!

It's Natural...

2009-11-23T10:30:00.003-07:00

Can I just tell you how much I love it when the lighting in the house is just right enough that I don't have to use a flash? It always makes us and Elliot look crazy or like we have some sort of skin problems... But these are in natural light!

The Last Month in Utah

2009-11-10T20:20:00.002-07:00

So... it's finally happening! We are soon to leave dear, old Utah and move on to bigger and better things!

First stop is St Louis! We're moving back to Troy around Christmas time and it is going to be awesome. Then we plan to travel a little, namely to Vienna and maybe Minnesota (maybe to see a new baby that a certain awesome couple will be having this spring???!!!???).
After that (in June-ish) we are headed to the majestic Mississippi Delta.
What, you say? Mississippi?
Yes ma'am. Erik was accepted into Teach for America today and he is going to be teaching elementary school in the Delta for two years!

We are super psyched. Not only does that mean a "real" job (which are hard to come by in this economy), but I get to stay home and we get to start a new adventure! I have always wanted to live in Mississippi at some point in my life, and now my wish is coming true!

Stay tuned for more... And thank you all who have been praying for us and sending us good thoughts! I know they helped! :)

What a week!

2009-11-08T20:30:00.003-07:00

This has been one hack of a week... I can't even remember all the things that got derailed or didn't go according to plan, but I just have had an overwhelming feeling of "well crud" about this whole week.

Especially our car. Last week, a fuse blew and all the gauges stopped working, but the nice guy at the garage fixed it for free. But then on Saturday, it happened again! Except, we can't find a blown fuse. Hmmm... So we think there is a short, and I'm taking the car in to the dealership tomorrow to see for sure. Please say a little prayer that they don't charge us some ridiculous amount or take hours and hours.

But, at the same time, I have been feeling very thankful lately. At least we have a car to be worried about, right?

Also, when we were at the garage, another family was ahead of us in line. They had a little girl, who had some very obvious and very significant medical issues. As soon as I saw her, I started saying a little prayer to Heavenly Father, thanking him for Elliot's health. And that's kind of been my theme lately too... I am just so thankful for him. He's so smart and strong... even on his "bad" days, he brings so much joy into our lives!

This week has been a roller coaster, to say the least.

P.S. Elliot can now roll back to front! WOoo!

Well, I'm glad I'm done having babies in Provo!

2009-10-30T21:04:00.002-06:00

A clinic here in town posted the following sign in their lobby *click to enlarge*

This is allll over the birth-minded blogosphere. Here's an example...

http://crunchydomesticgoddess.com/

I just gotta say, thank heavens for Dr Savage and thank heavens I've already finished the childbearing I'm doing here. Sheesh.

And then...

2009-10-30T09:17:00.002-06:00

... in the morning, we found this little pumpkin!

So we whisked him away inside to keep!

Halloweenies!

2009-10-29T22:11:00.002-06:00

Tonight we finally carved our pumpkins! We got one for each of us, but I helped Elliot... Just a little.

Here he is!

You can't see it glowing because I had the flash on... I had to because Elliot moves an awful lot and the once with out made him look like those kids' creepy camping pictures from The Ring.
Flash on...

Flash off!

Those would be : Potter Puppet Pals (mine), a Wild Thing (Erik's), and a puppy (Elliot's).

Ta-Da!

Quick Update

2009-10-27T20:51:00.002-06:00

I would write more, but I'm fairly exhausted...

Elliot's 4 mos checkup was Monday and he is now in the 100% for weight AND height. 19 lbs 1 oz, 27 in. This means the following - he has been gaining about 2 inches a month and has gained over 10 lbs since birth. I took a look at my baby book and I wasn't 27 in until I was 7 mos. I was just over 15 lbs at that point, and that's the last stat for me written down. Dang. Erik looks like he was a pretty large baby, but his mom didn't write down his stats... so we can't tell if Elliot is some crazy huge baby or if it's genetics.

He is pretty much sitting on his own... or at least leaning on his hands... but sometimes he leans too far and cries because it hurts his tummy or spazzes out and tries to fall backwards. But still, he's way ahead of schedule on that, so go Elliot! He is thisclose to rolling back to front but seems to not quite "get" front to back yet. Oh well! There's still time!

He laughs quite a lot. Is almost always smiling... and is pretty much always full of something to say!

He "talks" all day long. You can tell he's trying to communicate because he has a wide range of tones and facial expressions to go along with what's being "said". He also really likes "b" sounds, blows an extraordinary amount of raspberries, and likes to be sung to/danced with.

Also, he really likes standing on my lap and grabbing my face. Too much... Oh well! :)

We're busy busy busy all the time! Mom came out two weekends ago and it was a BLAST! She and Elliot are BFFs... he talked her ear off the whole way home from the airport and the entire time she was here! She spoiled us!!! We miss her so much and can't wait to see the whole family at Christmas.

Erik had his big final interview with Teach for America around the same time, so we've just got to wait and see on that... Finger crossed!

I was weighed this week too... I'm under pre-pregnancy weight, but not quite to wedding weight... but I'll be honest with you. I'm okay with it. I'd love to be thinner, but here's what it probably involves : exercising and changing my food intake. The problem with these two things is that a) I don't have the time or energy for that kind of crud... my exercise is work and carrying around a nearly 20 lbs baby and b) I'm not willing to cut calories to lose weight and risk losing the quality/volume of milk that I produce... nursing is more important to me than skinny jeans.

Welp... that's it folks, I hear the bed a callin'. Good night!

New Favorite Toy and other adventures...

2009-10-15T20:55:00.004-06:00

Hi my name is Elliot! This is my new favorite toy!

From what I understand, it's called a "tooth-brush".

I haven't quite mastered how to use it...

Oh, wait, there we go!

Mommy and Daddy took me to the pet store to see some animals!

These birdies are pretty cool!

I can make noise like that, too!

Daddy tried to show me how to play video games... meh. I like my toothbrush better.

A Quiet Moment...

2009-10-03T20:41:00.003-06:00

Elliot is asleep after a few very hard days of teething... he is still mostly a cheerful little guy, but he's just extra clingy and a little cranky. Plus for the past two nights, our champion sleeper has been replaced by a baby that just watches you walk out of the room and then starts bawling. :( Poor guy, you can tell that he's just really in pain. I gave him a tiny bit of baby Tylenol (yes, I checked to see if it was part of recall and we're good!) and that seemed to help take the edge off little. I can feel the top of his gums right at the bump where the tooth is, starting to feel a little rough almost... I don't know if that's normal but I'm just going to tell myself that that means it's coming out sooner rather than later. I'm a little sad that he's teething a little on the early side ... but he's just an over-achiever I guess!
And Erik ran over to Jacob's to hang out with the boys briefly, so I'm here in the quiet. It's kind of nice... but I also like being with my two guys, even if they might be screeching or drooling. :)
That's Elliot's newest trick... screaming. A lot. Happy or sad, he loves to just screech about it. Sometimes he just does it when there is a lull in conversation, which always cracks me up.
He really is a funny little guy. Even when he's angry or sad, he's just too cute. He is also growing a more prominent double chin, which is also a laugh riot. Especially when he pulls his chin back and makes it look even worse. Hehehe, ignorance is bliss when it comes to your looks, I guess!
The quiet time that I have though... whether it's right now, or just when baby boy is napping on my chest... I love to reflect on how happy I am. It's not all the time... a lot of the time I'm over-tired, stretched too thin, hungry, or just ornery... but when I take a second to think about it I really love my life. I don't like working away from home or having a messy house... but I have the sweetest little boy and a crazy husband that loves crazy me.
I was watching the View the other morning (ew, I know... but nap time gets a little boring when you are a human mattress sometimes) and they were talking about a survey of people's happiness and the bottom line was... if you don't have kids you're happier. Maybe that's true for some people... To me, I think it's like people who don't believe in God... You may think that you're happy...but I don't think you don't know what that means until you've experienced something else... 'til you've really felt God in your life or trusted Him... 'til you've held your precious baby at some unreasonable hour and just snuggled them close and smelled their soft hair and shushed them until they fell back to sleep.

2009-09-26T20:26:00.002-06:00

So with Elliot's big 3 month birthday, I remembered a statistic I had read about breastfeeding rates in our country...

It goes a little something like this "The CDC report found that among infants born in 2004, the rate of exclusive breast-feeding through the first three months after birth was 31 percent, shy of the government's goal of 60 percent, and through six months was 11 percent, below the government target of 25 percent." (reuters.com, 2007)

That just makes me so sad... I know that everyone has their reasons for quitting breastfeeding... but I just seriously cannot fathom stopping now, or really anytime until he's at least a year old.

I know that it can sometimes be messy or potentially "immodest". (Which is stupid, breasts are designed by God to feed our babies, not to be solely sexual in purpose... if we weren't meant to nourish our babies ourselves, why does every woman - no matter her feeding choice - have her milk come in after giving birth? My milk still came in after I gave birth to Aurelia, that's how hardwired we are to nurse our babies.)

I know that there are a variety of very painful things that can go wrong... thankfully my bad experiences have been very few (like my plugged duct last week, ugh.) but I can't think that all of those women who give up have some awful painful experience. And the thought of giving up over something as minor (relatively) as a milk blister or painful latch (which is correctable) or maybe just not wanting to get your shirt dirty just makes me really sad.

Let me be the first to tell you... breastfeeding is awesome.

I LOVE nursing Elliot. Yes, in all caps, that's how much I love it.

Just all the sweet smiles he gives me while nursing and how he tickles my side with his hand and the noises he makes that can be a little embarrassing in public, but I just take as a compliment from him, like he's broadcasting, "Oh my gosh, everyone! My mommy has the yummiest milk for me and she's feeding me right now under this cover, did you know? Yep!"

It's not easy... like those sweet smiles, those don't come at first... at first a newborn just eats and eats and eats and barely even registers your presence sometimes, but when they get older, oh man... that's when it gets so much sweeter and so much fun.

So, if you're thinking about having a baby anytime soon... please please please look into nursing your baby. It's so good for them and it's great for you too! Seriously, the oxytocin! If everyone had a boost of that every two hours like I do, the world would be a better place... No matter if Erik is stressing me out or the house is a disaster, I get stop what I'm doing, snuggle my boy, and just feel at peace.

*sidenote*

I know it's late, but this week was International Babywearing Week! This is partially a plug for comfy::cozy (link on the sidebar!) but 95% also a call to all you Mommies and Mommies to Be out there!

Wear. Your. Babies.

This year's slogan is "Close Enough to Kiss" and I think that is one of the greatest things about babywearing... Elliot is always right there with me... ready to snuggle, ready to kiss.

I can't imagine bringing him everywhere in a car seat. First of all the weight, lol, oh my gosh... no. My arms would pop off. Second, I just need to hold my baby. I don't want him far away in the grocery cart or down on the floor! He deserves better and I do too.

If you haven't tried it, please do.

http://babywearinginternational.org/pages/babywearingweek.php

Here's some cute stuff for you to feast your eyes on.

2009-09-25T20:50:00.006-06:00

Okay, I want to show you guys Elliot's newest trick (hint: it involves his toes) and some stuff and then I'm going to go chill with my husband!
P.S. Elliot is now 3 months old, 17 lbs, so far doing great with his DTaP vaccine, and cuter than ever!

This is generally what I come home to in the morning, lol. Notice the bottle all the way across the bed.

Another morning scene... Hey Daaaaaddddyyyy... I'm awaaaaake!

I am trying to be good!

What. Are. Those.

Hmmm...

Now there are lion faces on them!

Spot me, okay?

Almost there!

Ooof!

Success!!!!!

This one is for you dad! Too bad this hat is already too tight :(

Mom and baby matching shoes!

And hoodies!

Lounging... waiting for the ladies to come swooning over him...

Smiling at dad!

2009-09-22T22:29:00.002-06:00

Bleh. It has been about, forever, since I last posted but in that time I have finally gone back to work and I am b.e.a.t. all the time.
Oh well, I'll either adjust to it or pass out. Whichever. Haha.
In other news, Elliot is still huge and cuddly and cute. He has learned to laugh and we captured a little one on video (bottom of post).
We are just counting the days til Christmas here. I cannot. freaking. wait. While I'm not super enthused about flying with a baby and all the extra forethought into packing that entails, I already need a vacation.
So that's about it. I'm tired, but Elliot is still a happy boy!
The End!

Best Picture So Far

2009-09-08T20:41:00.002-06:00

This is the best picture we've taken so far... haha.

Poor Elliot was very sad to find out that it was bedtime! (This is not an isolated incident... this is the same sad face he gets when anything doesn't go his way...) Unfortunately for him, his sad face is hilarious to Mommy and Daddy! Sorry buddy boy!!! We love you!

What a day!

2009-09-05T20:02:00.003-06:00

Today was a pretty good day! Elliot agreed to sleep in with us, the boys (minus Elliot) hiked the Y, us girls went to the mall, Elliot saw his first BYU football game (well, the first half anyway), and now he's snoozing and I'm working on a really cute ring sling!

First of all, I think I figured out part of Elliot's over-tired craziness... his morning nap needs to be more of an extension of sleep. Up to nurse, diaper change, and then back down... not the walk around the house/too early stimulation I've been having it be. Because he went right back to sleep today... hmmmm. Then, we knew he ready for the big game because when I changed his diaper, his poo was in the pattern of a field goal post. Seriously. It was weird.

Then while Erik, Craig, Jacob, and Christian hiked, Sarah, Julie, and I were like "Yeah right" and went to the mall! Elliot came with because he is a ladies man. The mall was great, Elliot was fawned over by strangers (he even inspired one happy couple to have a baby... kind of, haha), I had a lady ask about my sling and I gave her a business card (woo!), I got a new pair of shoes for work (you should see my other ones... ew), and here is the best part...

I went to Maurice's because they have my favorite jeans... I wanted just to see what size I wear and if they still are amazing. So I picked out two bigger sizes, because I didn't want to kid myself, and headed to the dressing room.
Both were loose! Wooooo! So then I grabbed the next size down and tried those. They were a little snug, but with the rate I'm going plus going back to work and being active, I should be able to easily wear them loose in a month or less... and guess what???

They were only one size bigger than the jeans I wore before getting pregnant with Aurelia.
One! Size! Holy Moses!!!!! (as you can see, I'm pretty excited)

So I'm going to give it a few weeks or a month and then go back there and buy myself some very awesome jeans, I think, because my waist hasn't been this small in two. freaking. years.

On a related note, I realized today that I have now given birth the same number of times as my mom. Weird, huh?

Anyway, then after getting home and chilling for a bit, we went to see the broadcast of the BYU v OU game on campus... and here is the first half, illustrated by pictures of Elliot...

Football! Elliot is bewildered. Erik is making a funny face.

Hm. Nothing great is happening...

Suspense!

Everyone is cheering!

Touchdown!

But then we came home and got Elliot washed up and to bed... and according to ESPN.com the excitement was really to come later... Thankfully, Erik got to go back up to campus and see the rest! :) Wooo Hoo! What a way to start the season!

The search is over...

2009-09-03T20:09:00.002-06:00

I found Elliot's Halloween costume!!!

Random Collection of Thoughts...

2009-09-02T21:44:00.003-06:00

Elliot is asleep after a long day of trying to convince him to take a nap and Erik being a more perceptive parent than I am. *mommy fail*
He went to sleep well, he just laid in his crib in the dark, sucking his hand for over an hour. But he didn't cry, so maybe he just needed some alone time???

We're just waiting on Erik's Pell Grant now to get some bills paid and get some shopping done (Sam's maybe, if I can find that one-day membership thing... it was in a magazine that I seem to have misplaced...oops). That will be nice, and then I'll be going back to work and making money again. What??? Money??? Seriously folks, we have been b-r-o-k-e this summer, but it has just given us more time to spend with Elliot, enjoying the simpler things in life.

We rearranged our schedule yet again, to accommodate a better, more dependable nap for Elliot in the afternoon... so here's hoping that he appreciates that, haha. Also, I discovered what it's going to look like when I'm at work and Elliot isn't asleep...

Nice, huh? He seems to like it though, he sat like that for a while, just taking it all in.

Then, I was doing some blog-surfing (aka wasting time) and came across this blog of a woman who's first daughter was stillborn, but she now has more children. I was reading her posts and was thinking, "Man, she is still really dwelling on her pain..." And then I thought about it... and I feel like maybe I just push mine back all the time, without realizing it. Next thing you know, I'm sitting here, quietly crying my eyes out. :/ I love Elliot so fiercely, but sometimes, having him here almost makes me miss Aurelia more. Would she have grown so quickly? Would she give us the same sweet smiles? Would she want to see all of the world so much that she'd have trouble napping too? But then I remind myself that if things hadn't turned out the way they did, we wouldn't have our little Elliot boy to grow and smile and make us curious about the world again. We would have him to make up silly songs about. He wouldn't be quietly sleeping in the next room. At his blessing last month, I bore my testimony about God answering prayers... And I want to share the thought with those of you who couldn't be there or just need to hear it...

When we went to the hospital, the night that Aurelia passed away, they gave me some ultrasounds... I already knew, before the first nurse went to get another to help her, that the baby's heart had stopped. I could see it on the screen. And I started begging God to make the baby's heart beat. I told him that I needed it to happen. That this was wrong. But it never did happen. I wasn't mad at Heavenly Father, I was just so sad that my prayers weren't answered... But like I said before, if it her heart had been beating, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant again so soon (Elliot is just 11 months younger than Aurelia.) and we wouldn't have our little family the way it is today. I know that sometimes it seems like God might have forgotten you, or is ignoring your prayers... but he knows us and he has wonderful things for us... we never know what is in store.

I just feel a mix of emotions tonight. I am brimming with love for Elliot, I am missing Aurelia, I am so glad to have two very special babies... that are that much more special because of each other...

On a lighter note... I'm already getting excited for Halloween! Seriously, look up some baby Halloween costumes, and you will just melt from the cute rays pouring out of your computer screen. What do you guys think? Family tradition - 1st Halloween = Pumpkin Costume or something more crazy? I think we should go as Ghostbusters and Elliot as Slimer... Erik thinks he should be Harry Potter, and we can be supporting characters. Thoughts?

To Elliot's Adoring Fans...

2009-09-01T20:09:00.004-06:00

Boy Wonder is doing great, as usual...
After a fever from his vaccine *trauma* he is right as rain.
Even during his fever he was good and kept giving me sad little smiles.
After a few nights of meltdowns at bed time, we tried out an earlier bed time... voila! He wants to sleep more at night apparently, which makes the days that much more fun! He doesn't really nap in the sling anymore when we're out... he just wants to watch everyone/everything around him. Thank heavens for the kangaroo carry, so he can check out all the action!
He is also starting to get a little sense of humor. He loves when Daddy pokes his head out of the shower to say hello, and gets this crazy smile every time, like "What are you doing in there?" He also really enjoys looking back and forth from Mommy to Daddy really fast in the mornings, as if he can't believe we're all here in bed together again! His other favorite thing is exaggerated kissing noises... not the puckery sound but a verbal, high-pitched "Mu-AH!" especially if back and forth from cheek to cheek repeatedly.
And, of course, the best part... pictures!

Being a model-baby, as usual...

Look at his chubby arms! Also, a new favorite pastime... hand gnawing...

His hair just keeps getting crazier... all his baby hair is still with us, but he's growing in little boy hair that you can see in his "receding" hairline and in the front.

Oooh, shiny camera!

*** Trouble uploading a video right now, but stick around, it contains big, cutie smiles! ***

Pins and Needles

2009-08-26T18:14:00.004-06:00

Okay, so I was going to respond to our friend Michael in the comments, but it would be a long comment, so I thought I'd just make a separate post.

It's no secret that I have some slightly hippie/crunchy tendencies. But I'm not sure that I can get behind not vaccinating Elliot... and this is my reasoning...

We have not so great luck. I feel like, if I don't get him his shots, he will somehow contract polio or measles or something and be very very sick or die. Call me crazy for not wanting to be batting 1000 in the dead baby department... That sounds calloused. Am I getting calloused? Yeesh.

Anyway, I believe in not pushing my luck, BUT I'm just not so sure about how many vaccines and how soon babies get them these days. When I was a baby, I got like, 2 vaccines... DPT and MMR (granted, that's like 6 diseases, but it was just those two). I didn't start them until I was 3 months. Babies nowadays get like, 5 shots at 2 months.

A month may be nothing to you and I, but I'm pretty sure to Elliot it's a lot. I mean, he's developed so much in the last month, and I'm sure he will even more in the next.

I'm not convinced that vaccines cause neurological problems, but they could contribute to setting off that tendency in some babies/children due to the amounts of metal in them (mercury, aluminum, whatever)... that's why you're not supposed to eat too much fish while pregnant/nursing, right? Right.

Like I mentioned before, I don't want to push my luck, so while I'm protecting Elliot from big bad communicable diseases, I also don't want to chance his little system getting overloaded and having his life be harder than it has to be, from any problems vaccines in themselves may cause.

I know plenty of people who've given their kids the whole shebang, on schedule and they've turned out fine... I also know people who don't vaccinate, and their kids aren't passing yellow fever or something around.

I also have read horror stories of little babies getting something preventable and being harmed, and I've read about sweet happy kids who seem to become someone else after a bad reaction to a shot.

But then again, Michael is pretty right about the leg soreness thing, and I'm feeling a little like a jerk. But ALSO everything I've read talks about how Hib vaccines aren't so bad, that rarely babies get pain, tenderness, low grade fever...

And guess who has all three.

You thought I was joking about the bad luck, huh?

I can't win.

My Big Guy

2009-08-26T11:39:00.003-06:00

Elliot is now 2 months (and 1 day) old!

He is so fun to have around, he makes our lives so much more exciting and sweet!

At his appointment yesterday we got his stats and they are............

14 lb 11 oz - 95%tile (let be honest, he's probably at 15 by now, lol)
23 in - 50%tile
and I don't remember the head measurement, but also 50%tile

So, he's got an average head and average frame, but just a little extra lovin'.

He pretty much slept through the whole thing, except for the rotavirus liquid, which I'm sure tasted lovely... and then again when Dr Savage was checking his hips. He just opened his eyes and looked at her like, "Excuse me, but who are you and why are you touching my legs?"
Then he showed her how strong he was with his head control and bearing weight on his chubby little legs!

Today we stopped by the Health Dept to get his Hib vaccine, because the Dr's office was out yesterday (woo-hoo national shortage!). This just furthered my belief in giving him only one vaccine at a time... I felt so bad for just the one shot that I can't imagine doing several in a row in one sitting. Yeah, I'm going to have to be way more on top of vaccines and go to the Dr's more often, but honestly... I just can't stand the thought of all those shots at once. Of course the lady at the Health Dept looked at me like I had 3 heads, but at least I'm vaccinating him at all.

Here's my little guy sitting on the couch.

He's so proud of himself!

2009-08-24T21:53:00.002-06:00

Elliot, having a more pleasant tummy time than usual...

So I am now less than a week from going back to work.
I have no idea how I'm supposed to balance 2 classes, 32 hours of work, and raising a baby. And being a wife who occasionally has the time to make a meal or give her husband a second look.
I've finagled my schedule so that I leave some days very early in the morning, while Elliot is still asleep and I get back before or soon after he wakes up. Then I go back during his afternoon nap. This way I've minimized the time that I'm away while he's awake. However, that means that 4 nights a week I've got to go to bed with him, so that I don't die of sleep deprivation. So that leaves me 3 nights a week in which I can do homework or housework or hang out with Erik (yeah right, he has homework and Head TA duties).
So, goodbye semblance of a life...
I'm also kind of scared that even with crazy hours, that Elliot's going to become less bonded to me or forget me. Gahhhhhh, I'm seriously frightened.
Oh well, if it's to much to handle, I can try and cut my hours down and have us get on private insurance, but let's face it... it's expensive or if it isn't it may not be the best. Not that the insurance at work is stellar, but we did already meet our deductible for this year.
Just pray that I don't go crazy or pass out or that Elliot doesn't start to hate me.

Mr. Smiley

2009-08-18T23:14:00.001-06:00

A good day for pictures

2009-08-18T22:21:00.003-06:00

Today, Elliot was very smiley and then Caroline took some family pictures... unfortunately these two events didn't happen simultaneously, but we got some great pictures even if Elliot was more interested in trees than smiling for the camera!
Thanks Carny! hahahaha

(Pictures of Elliot smiling to come... my card reader is being a pain!)

2009-08-17T09:31:00.003-06:00

I know you were all on the edge of your seats, waiting to see what else I had to share, and if you were going to hear more about my son's bowel movements... but no.

Sorry! :(

Actually, I'm not even sure where I was going with that last night. I think I was just mostly interested about Elliot being so in tune with mother nature that he won't sleep until the sun goes down. Especially because he may not go to sleep early enough for me now, but fall is coming my friends and he will probably get the hang of it. Maybe.

Until I round up some more super thrilling thoughts and events for you here is a picture of Elliot getting ready for bed!

(this is right after launching his binky out of his mouth... he's not the biggest fan)

He is getting more and more smiley everyday, but always when I don't have the camera of course. And he's seeming to be developing into quite the outdoorsy little guy! He loves staring at our neighbors' trees in the back yard, when it rained the other day he was mesmerized, and going out into the fresh air always cheers him up. In fact, yesterday he was a little grumpy on our way to church, and as soon as we opened the door to go get in the car, he got the biggest smile on his face! What a cutie!

Also, as mentioned in the last post, Caroline and the boys are in town! Yay! They came over Saturday to see Elliot for the first time and it was a party! Calvin was pretty aloof, but Ryan was all about holding and talking to Elliot. It was incredibly adorable. (you can look at their blog for a cute picture) And then last night after we all got our kids in bed, she came over to hang out and we sat around and talked for a while... just like old times, but I got up approximately 300 times to check on Elliot. :)

2009-08-16T21:30:00.003-06:00

So, things here are awesome as usual... in fact, the past few days have been really great!
Elliot is still struggling to find a balance in his day time naps... it's been all or nothing lately, but fortunately, it hasn't messed up his night time sleep. He's still going to bed a little later than I would hope for him (especially on the days like today when he doesn't sleep for more than 45 min at a time and only, like 2 hours total during the whole day) but we've realized that the key to little baby Elliot falling asleep is the sun going down. He can be so close and on his way out, but when the sun goes behind the mountains at 9, boom, he's ready to go. It may take him a little while to finally officially fall asleep, and he'll lay in his crib ever so slowly falling asleep but once it's 9, he's ready to go down. Then, he just wakes up to nurse twice a night and then he's a little sweetie in the morning.

Oh! And I solved the mystery of his poo problem! It's funny how once you talk to someone or blog to the whole internet about something, then you figure it out... Anyway... The trouble is the fact that Elliot, unlike many babies, cannot poop lying down. Ta-Da! He's been laying on his back for several hours and that's why I have to prop him up! And, most all day, when he fills a diaper, he's mostly vertical... in his bouncy chair, in the sling, in the car... And I can understand his groaning... I'm pretty sure I can't go lying down either.

Also, in diaper news... I've tried to put dairy back into my diet and I have mixed feelings, which I'll consult the Dr about at Elliot's next appointment. But the long and the short of it is... I think he may still have a protein sensitivity, because he's sounding a little congested, BUT his diapers have greatly improved! They're normal color again (they were kind of green or dark yellow or even kind of brownish) and they are seeming easier to produce (he was not putting much out there) even though they're a little snotty seeming. Hm. Who knows.

Anyway! Caroline (aka Carny) is in town and she's over to hang out so I'm just going to finish these oh so gripping thoughts later!

Sweet Dreams...

2009-08-13T09:38:00.004-06:00

So, in an effort to get Elliot ready for me to go back to work and a little bit of school and Erik to go back to school for his last semester (WOO!)... we're trying to make his life nice and predictable.

We're trying to make sure he is home in the afternoon (at least) for a good long nap and that he's going to bed at the same time every night... which is something we were already doing, but just a few hours earlier.

This is also brought on by the fact that I'm pretty sure he's sleep deprived sometimes... or at least I know for sure that by the end of the day... he is OVER. TIRED. and he lets us know with no uncertain terms (read: being sad and giving us pathetic cries with his bottom lip out about a foot).

So, my mom, being awesome again, sent me two of the most popular sleep books... BabyWise and No-Cry Sleep Solution.

I've skimmed the first, and read several things that just don't sit right with me. (No way, right?)
...If you're not familiar with the book, some of the claims/pointers have a lot to do with very strict feeding schedules and nay-saying sleep sharing. Hm.
As much as I would like Elliot to lengthen the time between his feedings and be a little more consistent before I head to work (I really don't want him to have more than one bottle a day and so far it seems like he agrees.) I just feel like, he's a growing baby (which will eventually help him spread out the feedings, hopefully) and sometimes if he's tired or fussy, he just needs his mommy and I can't just deny him that because the clock says he's a little early.
And I'm feeling a teensy bit conflicted about sleep-sharing right now...
Elliot went through a period where he was so heavy that when he kicked during a dream, he would shake his bassinet and wake himself up scared, but we didn't have a crib, so we just brought him in to bed with us full-time. And it was nice, but it really amped up his night-time nursings and I started to prefer him whimpering or crying for milk from his bassinet to waking up to this tiny person clawing at my shirt and growling.
But, now he has a crib, right next to our bed, and when I go to bed at night, I look over at him sleeping and just want to swoop him out and into our bed so I can snuggle him.
I mean, I end up bringing him into bed for each nursing (which is usually just one or two after I've gone to bed and before I'm up for the day) and then in the morning to snuggle or play or take a little nap, but at night I just have to urge...
It's probably just the fact that he's so freaking cute in his little footie pajamas and I'm so proud of him for being able to get to sleep peacefully, though... because the clawing and rooting is less than cute at 2 and 3 and 4, etc.

BUT, the No-Cry book is pretty cool! I'm not totally finished, but the tips I've employed so far are pretty great! I mean, Elliot's not sleeping a whole 10 hour stretch or anything, but he's going to bed earlier and amazingly not up and wanting to play at 4am. In fact, it seems like he's sleeping longer (minus nursing and some trying-to-learn-how-to-poop-but-having-some-issues restlessness) and going down for little naps easier as well! We'll see how it pans out, but I think the extra sleep is just what he needs to stave off the crankiness late in the day.

However, this morning could just be misleading me... he was up to nurse at 3, and would have been out again til 6 or 7, but started moaning and groaning in his sleep at about 5. He drifted back off and then wanted to nurse at 6 and from then until about 9 was having a poop episode...

This poor kid, he has no trouble filling a diaper all day, but something about the morning hours is really traumatic for him. He's not fully awake the whole time, but for a lot of it he is, but he just does all these little leg lifts and contortions and makes this sound that is somewhere between and tornado siren and a T-Rex... I used to just put my knees up and sit him against my legs, facing me, but the past two days it just hasn't cut it.

And I'm sure you wanted to know that. Welcome to my life.

oh, picasa, how i love thee...

2009-08-13T09:20:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite things to do at work, is to create custom signage for my department. I really enjoy putting together pictures to make announcements or showcase items. I would do this by going over to our photo department, whipping up something on Picasa, and having them print it out. If you don't know about Picasa yet, google it and download it for free!

You can do all kinds of fun little effects on your pictures (color changes, soft focus, even retouching) and you can make collages! Fun!

Like I have the time on my hands to play on the computer... oh well!

My 100th Post

2009-08-11T22:55:00.004-06:00

My 100th post is a shout out to probably my blog's biggest fan... my mom!

Today is her birthday (and grandma's too! Happy Birthday Grandma!) and I hope it was a great one!

My mom is awesome you guys, really... it's true. Especially now that I have 1000 questions for her, or things I need to get her opinion on, everyday about babies and breastfeeding and naps and all that fun stuff.

I sent her a picture (pretty much the only one) of Elliot smiling, which I think is fun, that he smiled for his Grandma's birthday... but was hard to get, because he'll smile really big right until I pull out the camera and then I have to distract him from it to get even a smirk from then on... hence the picture in the post below, lol.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Mom. I hope it was awesome, just like you! I love you!

Mom, with her favorite little grandson!

With her BFF/arch-nemesis Kiki...

Getting ready for my wedding...

***sidetracked***
Oh My Gosh... Iusedtobesoskinny!
*sprints to nearest treadmill*

WARNING - never let anyone take a picture of you at full-term, ladies, unless you need a serious confidence boost postpartum...

HOLY SH--... okay, nevermind, I'm pretty much a stone-cold fox at this point, lol.
This is also how I wound up with a Hulk-Baby.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mommy thoughts...

2009-08-11T22:42:00.004-06:00

Don't you love the way a baby's breath smells? All warm and milky...

I was at Target yesterday and found out that Elliot is now in their brand's (Circo) 6 month size.

What? This is a little bit of a problem for me, because their sleep & plays or footie jammies or whatever you want to call them only go up to 9 mos... or at least the ones that are $5.99 do and they are so. dang. cute.

Does everyone else in the world have abnormally small babies or is really that gigantic? I mean, he barely fit into newborn sizes when he was born (5-8lbs).

I just got out one of his newborn jammies and almost had a breakdown.

He was that small only a few short weeks ago!

Who is this monster child, this toddler who ate my tiny, delicate infant???

Okay, he's never been exactly delicate, but sheesh!

As of 6wks, he's now 13lbs 4oz and 24 inches. We'll see what happens in the next week and a half before his appointment. AH!

A work in progress...

2009-08-09T23:06:00.001-06:00

http://acomfycozybaby.blogspot.com/

2009-08-02T11:47:00.003-06:00

I want to get your guys' opinion on something...

What are your thoughts on people trying to kiss or touch babies' faces and hands?

There's your loaded question of the day! You're welcome, lol.

Party on the Changing Table!

2009-08-02T11:33:00.004-06:00

After his morning diaper filling, Elliot was having the time of his life today!
He's a big fan of his little Beatrix Potter mobile and wanted to tell me some things. It was pretty cute, so I thought I'd share!

Overcome with the joy of having someone else clean up your poo...

Weee!

Elliot also had this to say, to his fans...

(Transcription below... my camera doesn't have sound... but I'm thinking of constructing a toolbelt that carries my camera, videocamera, some wet wipes, and that blue snot sucker thing.)

"Mother, fetch me some warm milk. Don't wait, I know you have it right there. And see what you can do about those cold wet things you keep wiping on my bum. *toots* What's that thing over my head? Is that a bunny with a hat? Can I get a treat? Just one? Maybe three? *yawns* Tell those people on the internet that I say hi and I love them. Okay, byeeee!"

P.S. He is really getting into squealing now... sometimes putting three short ones right in a row, which kind of makes him sound like a little baby monkey. Also, he is learning the tongue trill thing that Grandpa Douglas used to do, and I'm pretty sure Melissa was the queen of when she was a baby. Awesome!

It's the little things...

2009-08-02T11:07:00.004-06:00

Newsflash! Elliot's eyebrows are coming in! This is a joyous occasion because up until now, he had this weird imbalance of lots of dark hair and invisible eyebrows. As of right now, they are spaced apart nicely, so hopefully they'll stay that way, haha. *fingers crossed*

Do you know how hard it was to get that picture? My son is not the still and silent type. Here are some outtakes!

As I tried to get a good picture of Elliot's eyebrows, I realized that there are lots of little features of his that I love, that I like to think of as his unsung parts...

For example... his hairy arms

Or even, his hairy back! He is my little old geriatric man... :)

I should work for freaking National Geographic! Look at the zoom on that! (I'm sure Elliot will appreciate this when he's 16.)

Check out these legs, ladies!

And, oh yes... the hair. It's still growing, and really doesn't seem to be getting any weird bald spots, so we'll see how that goes!

"Get that camera outta my face!"

2009-07-28T23:39:00.003-06:00

So, question for you all...

How much would you pay for custom baby gear for yourself or as a shower gift package?

I've gotten into sewing a lot lately and I've been practicing honing my skills on fun baby stuff. For example, pouch slings and these really nifty nursing covers.

I've had a lot of women approach me about the slings alone, at the farmer's market and out and about, and so I thought... why don't I just make some and sell them?

I think I can throw car seat covers and maybe diaper bags into the mix too. And I'm thinking, I can sell individuals, I can matching/coordinating sets, whatever you know?

So, what do you guys think? Do you think people would buy them? Where should I get the word out? Craigslist/Farmer's Market/Facebook/???

Melting your brain with cute-atude!

2009-07-28T23:31:00.003-06:00

Do you like my brim up...

Or down?

Getting sick of Boppy time.

The mitts keep him from pulling his own hair... which is a post in itself... lol

I think I left some milk here for later...

One month down!

2009-07-28T23:25:00.002-06:00

Elliot hit the big 1 mo this past Saturday and he is just cruising right along developmentally...

He has had 2 blowouts in the past two days, for starters! Wooo!

Also, he is starting to use his arms to help push his upper body up for looking around purposes. And his smiles are getting more direct and less gas-related.
And he recognized Erik the other night and was just staring him down and following his every move! Daddy's boy, for sure.
Also, he has started blowing raspberries and throwing some little squeals into his "talking" repertoire.

I also bought him a sun hat yesterday and let me tell you... based solely on cuteness... worth. every. penny.

Battlescars

2009-07-23T22:09:00.002-06:00

So, the other day, I was just hanging out with Elliot. He was napping on my chest as usual and I noticed that his nails were getting pretty long again. (We've already cut his nails at least 3 times since birth.)
I get out the nail clippers and go to work, carefully snipping each one.
I get through one hand and begin on the next.
I grasp his little thumb and take what I think is good aim.
Then as I snip, release, and take away the clippers... Elliot gets the saddest look on his sleepy face and blood starts gushing out of his thumb.
You may say that gushing is an exaggeration, but to me... it could have been spraying across the room or just a drop, but my baby was bleeding!
The words "Child Abuse Hotline" flashed in my mind.
I hurried and ran his hand under cool water, blotted it with a Kleenex, applied pressure when it just kept on bleeding, cut a band-aid in half and shorter, and slapped that sucker on his thumb.
Crisis averted.

Now it's just the tiniest of scabs, but I felt pretty much like the worst mother ever.

And that's the story of Elliot's first flesh wound... and the worst 2 minutes of the last month.

My two favorite guys

2009-07-20T19:02:00.001-06:00

Just when it couldn't get more interesting.

2009-07-17T19:20:00.002-06:00

It looks like we're going through a growth spurt! Woo!

As of today, it's a nice little pattern of nursing every hour for 3 hours and then sleeping for 3.

I'm predicting that Elliot will be 20 lbs by the end of the month, haha.

Also... cutest thing ever #988782... Elliot has always been pretty vocal baby. From the moment he was born, he has been "talking" making all kinds of oohs, aah, squeaks, growls, etc. But he's now taking it to a new level and throwing some "guh"s out there and having little baby conversations in his sleep. I walked in on him today, during a nap, with his eyebrows raised up high saying, "baaaa AAAA uuuaaaahhh!" I about died from the adorable-ness.

2009-07-16T23:09:00.002-06:00

This is right before he decided that the giraffe was mean and started crying at it. :(

This one is blurry, but way too funny.
"Too much miiiiiilk"

Mom, I am not so sure about all the pictures...

La Leche League

2009-07-16T17:44:00.004-06:00

So I went to my first La Leche League meeting last night and it was pretty great!
I got some good advice on Elliot's gassiness, first of all, which is awesome.
Ever since my milk came in, I've had a really strong milk ejection reflex about a minute into each nursing session. The poor guy would start to choke and cough and pull away and this contributed a lot to his gassiness, I think, swallowing air instead of milk when he was flustered. So the ladies there suggested that I try nursing on one side exclusively for 2 feedings back to back and alternating that way... so like for four nursings it would be : left, left, right, right. Also, they suggested that he may have a cow's milk protein sensitivity.
So I've been nursing him in blocks like that since the meeting and he is doing so great! He's still having a few tummy troubles here and there but his burping is almost gone and our nursing sessions are much less traumatic for everyone involved! Yay!
I'm trying to cut out dairy to see how it goes... I'm hoping it's not the case though, because the protein is still in things that are lactose-free... So that would mean having to cut out all my beloved milk, cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. *fail*
AND at the meeting, I felt like I actually had something to contribute, even though I've only been doing this for three weeks... because one lady had an issue that I also struggled with at first.

And now... as a reward for reading a whole post about breastmilk... a post with some cute pictures of Elliot!

The Ugly Truth

2009-07-14T19:48:00.002-06:00

I just realized... that I have become that young mom. The one that blogs about her baby's gas, and talks about his eye boogers, and barely censors herself from having one too many TMI moments.

But, I've always blogged about the minutia in my life... and well, right now my life consists of lots of poop, pee, spit up, eyeboogers, and breastmilk.

Sorry, but I think it's going to be that way for a while... at least until Elliot starts talking or doing tricks or something... Oh well!

Life is so exciting with an almost 3 week old!!!

2009-07-14T17:35:00.003-06:00

The past few days have been mostly uneventful... We took Elliot out in the sling a few times, but it just way too hot and he gets stressed by too much new noise and all that... so we'll have to wait for him to get a little older and for it to get a little cooler to try too much more of that.

The other night he slept for a 6 hours block and it scared the crap out of me when I woke up and saw the time... but then of course last night he thought he would instead, nurse every 2 hours and insist on being held for at least 30 min after each feeding... so karma caught up with me, I guess, haha.

Also, I noticed that Elliot was majorly gassy yesterday. He's always been pretty gassy and had some astoundingly adult-sounding toots, but something was up. He would be asleep and then let out this really annoyed, higher pitched cry and then when I would lift him up to my shoulder... he would let out a burp. I felt so bad for him... it must really suck to have your naps repeatedly ruined by just a little burp! Then we got him some gripe water, which helped for a little bit, but then he still was really grunty last night and it seemed like it had been quite a while since he had a messy diaper (well he had a ginormous one after the gripe water, but then not since then).

Then I realized that since Mom left, if I slept in (usually the case) I wouldn't fix myself breakfast... that was a whole other serving for grain or fiber I was missing! Maybe Elliot needed some of that to be passed along to him? So I made myself some oatmeal this morning and ta-da! He was has been a doll-face all day. (It might help that this oatmeal is particularly fiber-y.) It's Village Farm Whole Grain Oatmeal, in Cranberry... Delish. I was really into it at Truman, then got Mom into it, and then she found me a box at Wal*Mart while she was out here. Thanks mom!

Bummed Out

2009-07-10T22:52:00.002-06:00

Well, this afternoon, my mom went home after staying with us for 2 weeks.

I know that my hormones are probably playing into it somewhat, but I'm pretty sad.

When Mom first offered to come out and stay with us, I was excited and thought it would be nice. But it's been more than nice. Mom was so helpful and really validated a lot of my feelings and helped me to see that, so far, I wasn't going to ruin my baby's life by being some idiot who never should have children.

And for the past two weeks, Elliot has been so great... I've only really had to pass him off to Mom to grab something to eat or shower if Erik wasn't readily available. But now I'm so scared that he's going to turn into some sort of fire monster and now I'll need to pass him off and have no options when Erik is working on his study or at work. Eeeesh.

Here's hoping that he doesn't realize that Grandma left quite yet...

365 days

2009-07-08T11:01:00.002-06:00

In the last year...

I have given birth two times...

First to a baby who was perfectly silent...

And then to a baby who was screaming at the top of his lungs.

It's a bittersweet day.

That Dr Seuss...

2009-07-08T10:52:00.002-06:00

So yesterday Elliot was having a nice little awake period (he's getting a little bored with just staring at my face though I think) so I decided to read him some stories from a Dr Seuss collection that we have. First up was Horton Hatches an Egg.
If you're familiar with the story, it's about an elephant named Horton who gets tricked into incubating an egg for this bird who is tired and bored of sitting on it.
As I was reading the lines of the bird, complaining about how sitting on the egg was no fun and she wanted a vacation, I was thinking, "Geez, what a jerk bird. What a negligent mom!"
And then I realized I have been feeling the same way the past few days... I don't think that I have what you would call the "baby blues" but more the "baby blahs". I was getting really tired of just constantly having half my shirt hiked up to my neck and having all my clothes get all saturated with milk and being a human pillow and having to get up several times at night and either try to get a squirmy baby latched on correctly in the dark or turn on the lamp and disturb Erik.
And then of course, my hormones came into play, and every time Horton refused to leave the egg and said his famous line "I meant what I said and I said what I meant... an elephant's faithful one hundred percent." I started to choke up. I have wanted this baby for so long, and while this stage may not be the most entertaining or fulfilling (conversation - wise at least), he will be up and running and so over cuddling with his mom 24 hours a day sooner than I realize. I need to stick to it.

I need to be a little more like Horton.

Father's Day

2009-07-05T20:24:00.002-06:00

Okay, so I know that Father's Day was actually a few weeks ago, but I've just got some fatherly stuff to think about lately and figured I could just pretend that I don't own a calendar.

I am just feeling so thankful for all the good father figures in my life... I had wonderful, amazing, funny grandfathers who had a big influence on not just my sense of humor but also my feeling of self-worth and love of learning. My dad (even though I may not have realized/appreciated it when I was younger) has always been a great example of family love, hard work, and the balance of the two. He has worked so hard for so long to provide for our family, but he also always let us know that we were very loved and showed it whenever he could, even if I was particularly squirmy and embarrassed by how much love he has for us and for me. Erik is the newest so far at fatherhood, but he's already such a great dad and shows so much potential. He has always looked out for others and is such a tender-hearted man. He was so supportive of both pregnancies I've had and when Aurelia didn't make it, he was truly my biggest support and still shows his love for her. He is so in love with Elliot and just wants to hold him and talk to him all the time. I already see the special bond that they have, a father and his little boy. I can't wait to see all the fun and sweet things they will get to do together!

I love the fathers in my life and just wanted to acknowledge them... even if it's a little late!

2009-06-30T16:16:00.002-06:00

Oh here, let me show you my toes!

I have Mommy's social skills!

Just being cute and asleep...

This is my "O Rly?" face.

2009-06-30T16:09:00.003-06:00

Ah... a small break!

Elliot is currently just hanging out in his bassinet, growling and wiggling around (yes I'm talking about our son, not a puppy... but seriously, he makes these little growl-grunt noises that are pretty funny to hear) and I'm just kind of letting him do his thing... He needs some awake time and if everyone here got their way, he'd just be held 24-hours a day, which means he would either never wake up or chose to only wake up when Erik and I try and sleep. Like Sunday night! Yay!

Anyway, he's doing well, even if it means that Erik's schedule is all messed up. I wish we could just quit our jobs and become professional parents.

I suggested making Elliot a baby-model and living off his income... but something about smacks of Jon & Kate-type disaster.

To show you what I mean, here are some cute pictures! Bleh, nevermind, they're in the next post!

2009-06-26T12:05:00.000-06:00

2009-06-26T11:12:00.002-06:00

Okay, since Erik is enjoying some quality Daddy-Son time, I can elaborate on our fun-filled night last night!

So. We went to our doctor's appointment as planned and chatted with Dr Savage about possibly having my waters broken to move things along... and she was cool with that, we just had to decide whether to do it last night or wait until Monday, because she's out of town this weekend. I thought about it and was like... My luck is not so great and I just know that if I say to wait til Monday, I will definitely go into labor over the weekend and deliver with a doctor that I really do not know. Meh.

So we went home, gathered our bags and such and headed to the hospital. They got me all admitted and situated and waited for Dr Savage to come on over to break my water. That happened at about 6pm. So I was pretty okay, my contractions were definitely more pronounced than before, but nothing to cry about, you know? So we got up, walked around the L&D unit for a while and I squatted for a while next to the bed... to see if we could get things moving. When I got back on the monitors, they were having a hard time getting the baby's heartrate to stay on the external monitors and when it was showing up, it was dipping about every 2-3 minutes (with contractions). Nothing too scary, nothing under like, 80, but still not ideal. So I turned onto my left side to try and see if the baby was compressing the cord a little and got some oxygen.

That's when the contractions really started to hurt. I would just have Erik rub my legs while I pressed into my lower back really hard and just kept trying to breathe deeply (I have a tendency to hold my breath when in pain, which wasn't exactly helping the situation.) and kept telling myself "Breathe For The Baby" over and over in my head.

After a while and I think a bathroom trip the baby's heartrate was nice and steady again and I tried to sit up more during contractions. I would put my feet on the bed, with my knees up and have Erik press on my knees really hard. It helped for the most part, but the position was not super ideal for monitoring the baby. So, the nurses posed internal fetal monitoring to me, but knew that I probably would say no, since that was part of my "rather not" list on the birth plan. So we compromised, and I just kept doing what I was doing but put in an internal contraction monitor... which was pretty good too, since it puts more saline solution back into the womb which cushioned the baby and helped it a lot. Plus, no little pieces of hardware on the baby's scalp!

Eventually (I'd say 10:15 or so) I was having really gnarly contractions and accidentally pushed the monitor out, but oh well! I went for another bathroom break, with Erik's help and kind of broke down. I had just been checked and was at a 7, 0 station, 100% effaced. I felt like I was in transition but figured there was no way... either way, I hit that wall and just wanted to die. I'm pretty sure I said that repeatedly too, haha! Erik was such a good labor coach and tried to help me be strong and told me I could do it. I didn't believe it though... I was just totally at a loss for how I was going to make it through 3 more cms and also pushing without my head splitting in half.

So, I asked for an epidural and I swear, the anesthesiologist was there in like, less than 2 minutes. While he was putting it in and all I was having even worse, now pushy contractions. He suggested that the nurses check me again and ta-da... I was at a 9. I think at this point I gave the largest eyeroll of my life and may or may not have said out loud, "You have GOT to be kidding me." Anyway, they proceeded with the epidural and called Dr Savage and I continued to be pretty pushy and slowly the pain was becoming manageable (meaning I was no longer yelling/trying to breathe through the pain).

Dr Savage got there at about quarter til 11, I think and got everything ready to go in super fast time and checked me and said, "Oh yeah, this baby has lots of dark hair." and Erik's eyes got really big and he looked down to see for himself and smiled. I pushed through 3 contractions and bam! the baby was out! I had the epidural in for like, 30 minutes when the baby was out. She held him up and showed us that he was a boy before putting him on my tummy. He had a nuchal cord so he was a little bruised in the face and took a little longer getting pink, but he was nice and vocal! They got him dried off and did his Apgar and then put him on my chest for some skin-to-skin contact and it was so great! He nursed pretty quickly, like a champ! Dr Savage checked me out and told me that I didn't have any tears, which I couldn't believe especially when they weighed him. I was very interested to see what he weighed, because he was "the chubbiest baby I have ever seen". The nurse guessed at least 8 lbs and they put him on the scale and POW 8lbs 10oz. WHAT??? I was pretty impressed. Even though I was feeling kind of dumb about getting the epidural, when I thought about it later I realized that he is about 3 times the size of Aurelia, so I think that it's a good thing that I wasn't feeling all of that or it may have taken me way more than three contractions!

Anyway, he is the cutest baby in the universe and makes so many funny squeaky noises! He is definitely a self-soother, he just makes noise to hear himself and calm himself. It's pretty adorable. He has so much hair... they parted it on the side after his bath and he looked like a little missionary. He's still a little poofy in the face, but it doesn't matter. Erik said he was like, the biggest baby in the nursery so that's cool. He loves loves loves to be held at all times, but it makes me nervous because holding him soothes me too and I get really tired and I'd rather not have my baby roll off the hospital bed. Call me crazy! So, we're anxiously awaiting our okay to go home (probably first thing tomorrow morning!)

I was going to put two pics on here, but the button isn't working so maybe on a seprate post.

BABY ALERT!

2009-06-26T00:44:00.002-06:00

We had our sweet baby!

It's a boy! (name is still being fine-tuned/negotiated)

He is 8lbs 10 oz and 19 inches long! So he is a chunk for sure. And that's at 39 weeks 1 day gestation!!! I'm a little glad we didn't wait another week or more ... yikes!

TMI but I'm proud/surprised... I didn't tear at all! Woo!

I'll post a more detailed birth story later, but I am just a smidge busy at the moment!

:D

Moment of Truth

2009-06-25T11:44:00.002-06:00

So, as you may have heard... I am still great with child. Which baffles me and all those who see me.

BUT we have another glorious doctor's visit today, in which we may get the go ahead to break my waters. Not my first choice, but it looks more and more likely that I will keep dilating slowly but surely and then be making quite a mess in your nearest Target, Wal*Mart, or maybe even church. Especially because after a little jaunt to the L&D unit on Saturday the nurse essentially told me not to come back unless I was tearing my hair out in pain or my waters actually break... yeah, okay. And honestly, if I'm going to have a labor half as precipitous as my doctor thinks I will once that water breaks, I would rather not have that go down in public. Also, I would prefer having my waters break in a "controlled" environment as opposed to having my baby somewhere out in the wilderness and then having it be put on ten kinds of antibiotics once we get to the hospital and having it separated from us for hours and hours. It's all about the greater good.

*I'm making less and less sense... maybe I'm finally in for really real labor!*

Anyway, if you faithful readers are so inclined, I'm willing to take "bets" on what Dr Savage tells me today. So far the scenarios that Erik, Melissa, and I have come up with are : I am no longer dilated or effaced, my cervix has succumbed to a bad case of stage fright and I am now back at square 1 OR I am so dilated that it is off the charts and should be medically impossible (Melissa guesses 14 cm) and that the baby is wedged up there, arms and legs akimbo, refusing to come out.

Happy guessing!

I have a bad feeling about this...

2009-06-22T12:59:00.002-06:00

I was perusing some blogs today (I'm a little bit bored and am obsessed with blogs about birth... at home, in the hospital, scary, happy, you name it...) and I came across this little gem of a story...

"...Such was the case of the mother who gave birth to her 5th child at the elevator bank on the labor floor. I was a medical student at the time, and we could hear the screaming as the elevator rose from the first floor and the doors opened. The orderly and the nurse managed to get the stretcher out of the elevator, but it was too late to go farther. The nurse delivered the baby on the threshold of the labor ward. Within moments a crowd that seemed to include a substantial portion of the hospital staff had gathered to watch.

The baby was healthy and vigorous, encouraging a festive atmosphere. Various staff members were admiring him and celebrating the opportunity to see a baby being born. At first we didn't notice the mother's distress.

"I’m so embarrassed," she wept. She gestured to her legs splayed open and the pile of bloody sheets between them. "Everyone is looking at me."

Actually, everyone was looking at the baby, but we understood her point. The crowd of observers began to break up and drift away, chatting happily about what they had just witnessed.

The nurse tried to comfort the mother.

"Don't cry, honey," she soothed. "You shouldn’t be embarrassed. This is nothing. Last year a woman gave birth to a baby on the hospital's front lawn."

Unexpectedly, this produced a further flood of tears.

The nurse was surprised, "What’s wrong, dear?"

It took a minute for the mother to calm down enough to tell us.

"That was me last time!""

Hmmm... I'm growing a little concerned.

shoot me now

2009-06-18T21:29:00.004-06:00

So, I've been home from work since yesterday, because every time I got up and walked a little, I was having fairly steady contractions (I was actually having quite a few while just sitting around, 10 min apart Tuesday night, but they petered off around midnight...) and the walking kind were making me apprehensive of going into work, because I have a pretty active job, involving walking around the store repeatedly, freshening up floral displays, processing bouquets, etc... and who wants their water to break at work? Not me.

Anyway, after going through several cycles of contractions that let up when I settled down (and figuring that if I went to the hospital, they'd want me to be still for observation and just send me home anyway) I just waited it out til my appointment with Dr Savage today.

I'm now on the verge of being dilated to a 5 (that's freaking halfway!) and am 85% effaced.

UUUUUUGgggggghhhhhhhhh.

I feel so "in limbo" I feel like if I decide to just go back into work that I will jinx it and have my water break while I'm in the midst of something important and Erik is doing his field study, but I feel like if I don't go back I'm just going to sit here twiddling my thumbs for weeks and weeks without a baby and without pay.

Having my labor get really into a groove or get kick started or have my water break would be awesome, but again the doctor mentioned today that she thinks I'll go fast. She doesn't want to break my water for me, because she knows that's not what I want... but she also kind of laughed and said that I probably would just need my water to break to have the baby just fall right on out. That doesn't sound appealing, lol! Especially if it happens in public!

Yes, this is my life... haha

2009-06-16T14:55:00.002-06:00

*click to enlarge!*

Since I last updated...

2009-06-12T22:45:00.002-06:00

Not too much is going on.
Still working and all that fun stuff... had a corporate show to go to yesterday which was way cool but exhausting. I had approximately 1000 people ask me both what the gender of the baby is and when I'm due. My response : Don't know and any second. Well, I was a little more talkative than that... but just a little.

Our good friends Jacob and Julie got married, and that was really fun! I got to do their flowers which was a blast, I hope they liked them because I thought they turned out pretty cute... even if the moms' corsages were a little ginormous. That's lilies for ya.

Today I had another fun-filled exam at the doctor's office (can you sense the sarcasm? those exams hurt!). I am now at a 4. So we'll see how this goes. I have contractions when I sit for a long time or sit in the car, but when I get up they peter off... I'm just worried that they'll never get truly regular or very very painful (right now they've just been a little uncomfortable but nothing to yell about) and I'll have the baby in the toilet. Dr Savage thinks that if I get to the point of my water breaking, I'm having the baby at home... that's how far down it is. Yikes! We'll see! While having it at home means I don't have to deal with meds or pressure to get meds... I would really not like to have the baby here I think. Erik though, doesn't seem to care, as long as it comes soon... He thinks that jumping out at me and scaring me will make me go into labor sooner... so if anyone could let him know that that is crazy, that'd be sweet. Haha!

Also, I went to the eye doctor for the first time in about 3 years! I got a new contact prescription and new frames! They come in in a week, and if my face isn't too fat and preggo I will post pictures! The doctor kind of laughed at how near-sighted I am though, which was a little sad... but oh well!

Now, I'm going to watch a movie with Erik and Melissa and go to sleep! No work tomorrow, which is an amazing and rare thing!!!

Well okay then!

2009-06-04T11:02:00.002-06:00

So, I got back from Dr Savage's office just a little bit ago...

I am at a 3 on my way to a 4, 75 % effaced, and (TMI) really squishy.

I could walk around like this for weeks, or whatever... I don't think/hope I go very very soon though.

But as soon as contractions get regular/short intervals between or my water breaks, I need to head in to the hospital, because Dr Savage thinks I'm probably going to go through labor pretty fast.

So stay tuned!

Someone told me, it's all happening at the zoo...

2009-06-04T08:41:00.002-06:00

So the baby shower was a little bit of a bust...
Not very many people came, and by that I mean just a few. Oh well, the invites did get passed out on pretty short notice and a lot of my older friends in the ward have either moved during this pregnancy or weren't there on Sunday. And the ones who did come were super sweet and didn't repeatedly look around dramatically like, "Uh, is this it? Where is everyone?"... So thanks girls, haha!
So I'm feeling a little loser-y, but I'm cashing in the gift certificate for a prenatal massage I got for my birthday to make myself feel better! Woo!

In other news, I have my doctor's appointment in like, 30 min, so we'll see if this baby is coming any time soon or what. I had a couple for real contractions last night... not real labor though, since getting up and walking got them to go away. It was fun, not painful, just definitely not my usual Braxton Hicks... trust me, I've had about 100 million, so I'm pretty well acquainted with those, haha. It was just at the same time a little unsettling... I've been anxious to get this show on the road, since it's 1000 degrees inside and out at all times, even if I'm right next to a fan, but then once I actually thought about it, I was like... Ah! I still have so much to do! I have to do the flowers for like, 3 weddings next week (especially Jacob and Julie's!), I have a conference/show for corporate next week, I have to train my new assistant to take over while I'm on leave!!! So, I'd like the baby to come soon, but not too soon. We'll see how it feels about that!

By the way, have you seen that they are coming out with a Beatles-only Rock Band video game? At first I was like, ew, even though I really like the Beatles... I just thought that it was a little gimmicky and couldn't fathom how they came out with the Aerosmith version first (I guess it does make sense, Aerosmith is a little more "rock" and modern... and I feel that at any given college party, watching friends play/sing Aerosmith songs while possibly intoxicated would be a little more entertaining that friends playing/singing "She Loves Me"... yes?). Still, I don't think we're going to run out and buy it... I'm holding out for the Simon and Garfunkel version... which would sell approximately two copies, one to Erik and one to me.

2009-06-02T19:57:00.002-06:00

Today it was so nice outside around 3 or 4... Mostly cloudy, with some rain (aka small drizzle, thank you Utah!) rolling in... So nice.
Erik and I have decided to move around the world based on this specific weather condition, so that we don't ever have to deal with scorching heat, blizzards, etc.

Things have been pretty exciting here in Provo for the past couple weeks, because my sister is staying with us!
So far we have... gone to pick her up at the airport, gone to Ikea, eaten famous Ikea meatballs, been to the zoo, been to the Gateway, been to the Planetarium, gone to the Provo Farmer's Market, been to Wal*Mart way too many times, been to Target 2 times to try and balance it out, been to the mall (not my fave place, so it's worthy of mention), been to Five Guys 2 times, been out to eat way too much, and generally bummed around Provo a lot. It's pretty much a party. Unfortunately, Erik and I are both really busy this week, so she's a little bored I think, but it gives her time to work on classes.

Also, I went to this really cool and informative cloth diapering class in Orem (brought to you by UVU) and it was the bomb. I even sewed my own All In One diaper... which is basically like a regular disposable diaper, except you wash it... Cloth diapering is far easier than it was when I was a kid. So this of course means that I am now obsessed with making my own diapers which gives me quite the sense of accomplishment! Sewing is way more relaxing and confidence boosting than I remember it being, so that's fun... maybe I'll sew all kind of cute clothes for the baby, if I ever have time, haha.

Speaking of which, I am still enormously pregnant. I am officially nine months, so any time now, I am totally okay with the baby deciding to come on out. Well, that's not totally true, I'm pretty busy at work for the next couple weeks and would really like to get up to the Salt Lake Farmer's Market, and it doesn't start til the 13th. But, we find out Thursday how things are progressing so far. I was totally effaced at 35 weeks last time, and this baby is already bigger than Aurelia was and I feel like even though I was active last time, I'm much more active now, plus I'm further along now... so we will just have to see!

Also on the same topic, a friend from our ward, Kelty, was super sweet and decided to throw me a baby shower for tomorrow! So if any of you Provo/ward friends are around tomorrow evening, you can come party with me (and my sister!) and it will be awesome.

Now I'm off to organize our heinously disorganized office (it was clean for like, a week). And maybe in the next week or so I'll post some pictures of our garden, because it is looking pretty fancy!!!

Extreme

2009-05-24T09:41:00.002-06:00

I really don't like it when people take the very extreme of any side in any situation. It makes me uncomfortable and worried for their general logic/problem solving skills. I think that on issues where there is some potential grey area (pretty much any issue) there can definitely be a clear cut right and wrong, especially based on any given person's moral compass, but blindness to the other side's argument is dangerous.
For example (the obvious reason I decided to make this post in the first place, lol)...
I generally have some pretty strong personal convictions about pregnancy and childbirth.

*** I know that some/a lot of my friends or maybe even family do not see eye to eye with me on some of these things. I'm not trying to call you out or make you feel like I'm passing judgement on your parenting, I just am putting my personal goals/convictions out there for the sake of this whole example. You are all still amazing parents in my eyes, I promise. ***

I feel that restricting your weight and diet while pregnant(unless you have underlying health issues like gestational diabetes or were obese prior to conceiving, I'm talking about doing your best to gain as little as possible so that you have 10 lbs or less to lose once the baby has been born - which takes off like, 10-15 lbs automatically) is selfish, wrong, and possibly neglectful. I feel that just signing up for whatever birth your OB wants you to have, without researching your options, is lazy. I feel that our culture as a whole has convinced women that they are too weak to do what God made them to do and most women in our culture as a whole are unenlightened/frightened by this prospect or again, possibly too lazy to care. I feel that most OBs are so overwhelmed by the pressure of possible malpractice suits (which is a whole other issue) that they don't truly care any longer for what is best for mother and baby, but instead constantly push for what will get baby and mother out of a birth alive and least likely to complain... they may do this by coercion, straight-up lying, belittling of the mother, etc. ***Disclaimer : My OB is a saint of a woman, I love her to death... and fortunately haven't had first hand experience with a bad OB, but there are some horror stories out there, even here in little old Provo.*** I feel that medical interventions and drugs used in childbirth may be convenient but can be very harmful and no one seems to read up on that, which is sick and worrisome. I feel that, while God did make women to be able to have babies, he did not make it easy or pain-free and that is okay. I feel that the sacrifice and pain of childbirth is not something to run away from, that it is productive pain and if I can do that for my child, without doping it or myself in the process, then I am doing my best first job as a mother. I feel that even though I won't "get a medal" for that pain or sacrifice, I am still going to feel like a freaking superhero, and if I know it then that's all that matters. I feel that breastfeeding is the absolute correct option for feeding a baby, but it is not supposed to be easy or glamorous or convenient (way less expensive though, hello!), but that doesn't matter... the baby's needs should be met before my convenience. I feel that car seats are meant to be left in the car and that investing in a sling (if you can, I know that some back problems/heavy babies can make carrying a struggle) to carry your baby around is just far more helpful, with all the less crying and less equipment that factors in. I feel that, when done safely, co-sleeping is not a "bad habit" or will make your baby grow up into a crazy person who still sleeps on your floor at 40... it's still very possible set limits and be the parent. I feel that cloth diapering may be more time-consuming or inconvenient, but it's better for your baby's poor little butt... if someone made you sit around in a wet/soiled diaper, full of chemicals, you'd cry too. I feel that, as parents, it's always nice to have our children's love and approval, but we are not here to be "cool" or their BFFs. I feel that I can meet my children's needs and make them feel loved and secure and give them the best, without being indulgent and spoiling them with a lack of rules and an excess of material things.
I could go on all day, but the point of that big old thing was to put out the fact that I may be what one would call "old fashioned" or a teensy bit "crunchy" or " a hippie" or "crazy". But, I feel like there is a place where I have to draw the line. Trust me, there are some even "hippi-er" people out there... I still firmly believe in shaving my legs, haha.
I read a blog of a stranger the other day (aka, this is what started me on this whole tirade to begin with) and it really bothered me.
I read tons of blogs... friends, people I barely know, strangers... people who agree with me, people who don't... it goes on and on. I really like to read "crunchy" blogs and blogs by midwives and doulas. I like to read positive birth stories to psyche myself up for this baby's pending arrival. I like to read crazy, sometimes gruesome, birth stories just because they amaze me and for the same reasons that people watch scary movies or watch the news.
But this blog in particular was talking about unnecessary c-sections. The woman writing was talking to a friend/acquaintance who said that she knew someone who really did need a c-section. The woman scoffed and asked about the circumstances surrounding the birth. The other person explained that the woman giving birth was 42+ weeks pregnant, had low amniotic fluid, and decreased fetal movement. The writer proceeds to talk about how, even with these circumstances, the birthing woman didn't need a c-section. She said that most people are misinformed, that the risk of stillbirth goes up at 43 weeks, not 42... low amniotic fluid is a dumb reason to induce (true, I don't get that point)... all babies slow down leading up to birth.

I may not believe in excessive medical interventions in birth... I may be alarmed at the insane rising c-section rate in this country... I may feel that most c-sections are actually unwarranted...

But if my baby wasn't moving enough and I was potentially at risk of an over-due stillbirth... I would let my doctor do whatever the heck she wanted, no questions asked.

And I think that if this writer knew what she was talking about (for example, had experienced a stillbirth) she would feel the same.

But maybe not... and that's what I'm talking about... the extreme way that some people approach problems. The feeling that there is no leeway, no matter a person's circumstances. The idea that everyone is wrong wrong wrong, despite their very personal feelings or instincts. I may agree or disagree with all kinds of people on all kinds of issues, but I just can't bring myself to believe that no one else can do things their own way and still be right, in light of what I personally think.

This lady may have had a birth that I would dread, and her doctor may have been forceful or made a bad call... but she has her baby. I can't see how anyone can pass judgement on that.

Blog neglect

2009-05-16T21:16:00.002-06:00

I feel like I haven't posted in a long time, probably because I haven't. I just feel like I don't have any funny stories or pearls of wisdom for anyone... I've just been busy/loving life.

School is over for the time being. I finished my Independent Study classes, finally, and until I get my finals back I think I did pretty well! Erik FINALLY (seriously, it took like, 4 freaking months) got his field study approved and now can go forth among the trailer people. He has these maps printed out, to mark where he's been and who he's talked to, so it's going to pretty much be awesome.

In the meantime he's been a really good stay-at-home-dad. He's been cleaning and organizing all kinds of things (of course with the occasional downtime thrown in... because seriously, the guy deserves it). I'm proud. But, if anyone out there knows of a probably part-time job just waiting around for someone as wonderful as Erik, give us a call! (For real, I'm having a baby anytime in the next 4-7 weeks... Ah! Poverty!)

I've really been enjoying the extra hours of sunlight, because even when I work all day and want to cry, it's still nice outside when I get home, and I can admire our garden and spend some day time with Erik.

Speaking of our garden... It is coming along pretty well! For a while, I felt like I was hesitating too long to plant some things... but then when it was still snowing in the latter half of April, I knew that I had made the right choice! Our onions (all three colors!) and potatoes (red) are going crazy, so I'm expecting a great harvest towards the end of the summer. Also sprouting up and thriving are our lettuce, a little broccoli, some of the peas, and corn. Carrots and beets are being a little "special" so we'll keep working on those. I broke down and just bought our herb plants, because starting them from seed is practically impossible for me... so we now have sweet little plants of basil, oregano, thyme, peppermint, rosemary, sage, chamomile, lavender, and lemon balm! And my flower seeds are all sprouting up incredibly well, so soon we'll have zinnias, larkspur, morning glory, poppy, poor man's orchid, and cosmos. We planted up one of our hanging bags with strawberries, and it looks like it's going to turn out wonderfully! Now I just need to transplant our zucchini, tomatillos, bell peppers, jalapenos, eggplants, and tomatoes/get the corn a little higher and throw down some beans and squash (3 kinds!) because we are trying it Native American style (I feel so... indigenous)/get our cantaloupe, watermelon, and pumpkin sprouted and throw those down too. You read all those right, I pretty much want to run our own farmer's market.

Also speaking of which, Erik and I went down to see what was shakin at the Provo Farmer's Market today and I was impressed! It's still technically "preseason" but it was already busier/bigger than when Caroline and I went last July. Obviously some of my main draws aren't in season yet (peaches, oh sweet sweet peaches) but it was still great. I left wanting to buy a chicken and build a coop and also a beehive to care for. *dirty hippie*

Again speaking of which, my mom is the bomb and sent me a cloth diaper package! (I'm not saying my mom is a hippie, but rather myself, just in case you were wondering... Hi Mom!) I'm still perusing ebay and etsy for covers/all-in-ones, etc... but I now have some for sure so that the baby won't be ruining the furniture when we bring it home, lol. I am so excited! Do you know how cute a cloth diapered bum is? It's so fluffy! And with all the new kinds of covers and what not... way cuter than any old Winnie the Pooh disposable, by far. I really need to bust out the sewing skills...

The baby is doing well... enjoying trying to rip my tummy open all day and night. :)
I know now more what the baby books meant by different movement as the baby gets bigger. I think I was definitely confused with Aurelia... which gives me a lot of sad feelings, in terms of wishing that I had known better... not that it would have changed anything. I went in for a heart check just a few days before she died and everything was totally "fine". Anyway. In the books and all, they talk about the babies movements changing as it gets larger. Some people describe it as slowing down... but I feel that that is inaccurate. Aurelia did slow down, but obviously that meant that something was wrong... there were parts of the day when she was just totally quiet and I thought she was just sleeping... maybe she was, I don't know... but this baby pretty much never stops. It is always moving, it just has no room to kick so it wiggles and squirms and stretches instead. My stomach looks like something from a science fiction movie, with all the odd shapes and bounces and whatnot! Highly entertaining, for sure, haha.

I'm doing well, I'm 34 weeks on Wednesday, so anytime after 3 weeks from that should be go time. We'll just have to wait and see! I was 100% effaced at 35 weeks last time, and I feel like I've had way more contractions and this baby is already bigger than Aurelia, so we'll see how it goes! :) As long as I get to 37, and the baby's lungs are good, then I'm good!

My only pregnancy woes right now are that my hips keep getting all out of whack and stiff, which makes me look even more ridiculous and waddle-y, and that I am getting nice and emotional. I cried the other day because I was just so tired and anxious, I almost cried today at work because it's Armed Forces Day and we had all these sweet old veterans in with their memorabilia and all.. it was just too sweet and they were just too brave (We watched Band of Brothers in the past couple weeks... so good!). And then I did cry on the way home because the song I danced with my dad at the wedding reception was on the radio. (Melissa is probably reaaaallly looking forward to staying with us now, lol!)

Well, I guess I had more to say than I thought!

That's pretty much it though, that's the news... Now I'm going to go hang out with Erik! Another fun shift at the nursery!

2009-04-27T17:31:00.003-06:00

Erik told me to update my blog, but I wasn't really sure what to write about until just now.

I saw a woman, who appeared to be at least 6-7 months pregnant jogging by my house.

...

I know that exercising while pregnant (safely) is good for mom and baby, but you will never catch me jogging at this point in my gestation. (Or a couple months ago even.)
I love to walk while pregnant, especially if I'm well-rested and busy. A good power-walk feels really nice in the lower back/hips. (Thankfully I am constantly doing laps around the store all day.) However, running just sounds seriously awful. With how congested I constantly am, plus allergies, plus thinking about all the impact that would be on my poor round ligaments, plus how many bad-ish bouts of contractions I've had so far... it sounds like a disaster.

The main reason though, is how much of an idiot I would look like. Haha! I'm sure that everyone in the neighborhood wants to see that. My huge self jiggling down the sidewalk, sweating to death, and gasping for air. LOL!

I hope you all enjoyed that visual as much as I did. :)

Reason # 98087328912 why I am ready to leave Utah

2009-04-15T15:10:00.002-06:00

Why is it snowing on April 15th? And not just snowing, but blizzard-ing.

I am hurt and betrayed, our garden is discouraged, and we almost died trying to drive to Salt Lake this afternoon.

Normally, we don't get up to Salt Lake all that much, but I had to get up there to get some floral supplies for work on short notice. But it looks like I'm going to have to try tomorrow instead.

Say a little prayer that tomorrow when I head up there, that all the other drivers will have gone to the parking lot to find their cars inoperable. I seriously cannot fathom how people who live through this weather all winter long each and every year still can't figure out how to drive in it with regard to other people on the road.

If you have a silver car, I'm frowning at you, especially if you are too stupid to turn your lights on. Every form of inclement weather renders your car invisible, so do something to help the rest of us out or stop driving like a moron.

If you drive a ginormous truck with huge wheels, especially if you are fond of driving directly over the banks of slush created by other tire tracks and spraying it onto normal cars' windshields, I think you are psychotic and want me to die. Therefore, we cannot be friends and I might scream curse words at you from within my car.

On our way up to the city, one such giant truck sprayed so much crud onto our windshield that we couldn't see for at least 30 seconds (which is a long time on I-15) and we had to brake quickly to avoid hitting anyone else who might be ahead. Erik said a couple choice words and then felt bad, because he doesn't like to swear (well, maybe light swears if it would be funny sometimes). I told him not to feel bad, because if I were driving, I for sure would have gotten into an accident and I would have said some much worse things.

Hopefully I can keep those road rage words at bay until I'm around some better drivers, or our children will sound like the degenerates of their preschool classes. Yikes.

Anyway! I hope everyone else out here is not having such a bad driving day and are staying home bundled up, because it is nasty and ridiculous out there!

Good thing Lost is on tonight.

The loser generation...

2009-04-02T23:01:00.002-06:00

So, Erik and I were listening to the radio and talking on the way home tonight and I wanted to share some of our thoughts...

The past decade, in terms of music and fashion has been fairly crappy.

Think about it. If you were to throw a themed party, you could chose any decade and there would be little confusion and some classic looks, including the early 90s (grunge and yuppies, duh). But I can't imagine this happening 20+ years from now for the 2000s. What would you wear? There's almost nothing I can think of, off the top of my head, fashion-wise that hasn't just been stolen from the past 20-30 years... I'm looking at you leggings.

And musically speaking, I've been essentially underwhelmed. Hip hop has become more mainstream, which is cool... but so has Hannah Montana, so take that for what it's worth. I like the catchy song of the moment as much as the next person, but if scanning the radio for a song to drive to, I would almost always chose something older... even country. Yes, I said it.

I'm still not sure about movies... We haven't been to the movie theatre since Benjamin Button (over-rated) and I'm not ashamed. There has been nothing that I would spent $8.50 on to see...
And I'm not sure what movies would be the "iconic" representation of the last few years. High School Musical? Lol.

Anyway, this just makes me a little sad, since I've been around for at least part of the last 3 decades... I don't recall much of the 80s, but I am a sucker for them now, just like everyone else. The 90s were pretty hilarious and awesome (especially music-wise... hello grunge coming to the mainstream). But the past decade, where I've come of age and become a 20 something, leaves me a little disappointed.

So let's hope that my kids have something awesome to remember, other than like, "normal again" Britney Spears.